[Please enjoy this fun post by my dear friend, Hélène Massicotte, today – the blogger behind FreetoPursue.com, as well as our very own Book Curator at Rockstar Finance. Never know what you’re going to get logging onto this blog! ;)]
You may have heard of picturing your audience naked to help with stage fright when delivering a presentation. But what if the person who feels naked is you?
That’s where sexy underwear comes in.
I discovered this trick of confidence during my work in Corporate Canada. Tough presentation? Sexy underwear. Tough negotiations? Sexy underwear. Negotiating a raise? Sexy underwear. Job Interview? You guessed it – sexy underwear.
I used to dismiss the unseen. After all, we live in a society where showing off like a peacock is the norm. But no one sees what you’re wearing under your clothes (well, ahem, depending on your occupation).
But here’s what I discovered: sexy underwear gives us confidence. It is our secret weapon. And its power lies in the secret itself. It makes us feel great, but not because of how it looks to anyone else. It makes us feel great because only we know about it.
Whether we like to admit it or not, we’re all driven by emotional payoff. Most of the decisions we make every day are based on our emotions. CEOs, teachers, monks, scientists, bouncers, academics, comedians, volunteers, and doctors are all driven by emotions like fear, love, anger, hate, lust, joy, sadness, hope, pride, and desire.
As Dan Ariely pointed out in his book, “Payoff“:
“[M]any of our motivations spring from trying to conquer a sense of helplessness and reclaim even a tiny modicum of control over our lives.”
Whether this is due to self-preservation, a strong preference for the status quo, or for a desire to change it, emotions guide us for better or for worse.
What does that have to do with underwear? It’s a buffer. The sexy underwear stacks the deck in our favor. It resets our emotional baseline for the day. It makes us feel just a little bit more confident in ourselves, and in our work. Because we took the time to treat ourselves well, and because we decided we’re worth it even if no one else will know about it.
Of course, underwear isn’t the only way to go about doing something for ourselves that others don’t know about. We could:
- Have a meditation practice we don’t talk about where we decide we’re worth carving out twenty minutes for ourselves to do some contemplation
- Have a stretching and/or fitness routine that gives us time alone and makes us feel strong
- Perform a personal grooming ritual that makes us feel great
- Improve our skills in a given area just because it’s of interest to us
- Do something hard for the pure satisfaction of being a badass
And my personal favorite? We could save more of our income than anyone would ever suspect us to save. (Otherwise known as “stealth wealth.”)
Why? Because the only reason we would save like that is for ourselves and for our household. We’re not saving to impress others, nor are we saving because it’s flashy.
We’re saving because of how it makes us feel every second of the day.
When we need to stand up for ourselves, when we need to negotiate, when we need to say “no”, when we need to move on, our stash of savings empower us.
“Money in the bank gives one a very safe foundation of courage when bargaining…” – Napoleon Hill, “Think & Grow Rich“
The secret to all of this is keeping it to ourselves. The moment we share our secret with the world, it loses its power. It may be difficult to do in this new world of oversharing, but I urge you to find your own “sexy underwear” and then push forward in quiet confidence.
This is for you, no one else.
A perpetual student, speaker, writer and coach, Hélène blogs at FreetoPursue.com and is currently on a mission to read 1,000 books (and has already knocked off 250!). She can also be found at Rockstar Finance, as well as on Twitter @FreePursue.