Financial Sayings I Wish Were True!

Here are a bunch of financial phrases I wish were true, along with some that I’m glad are not.

If you ever wondered what I do on my spare time, this is it :)

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Being worth your weight in gold

At gold hovering around $1,770/oz currently, I’d be worth approximately $4,956,000!

Having a license to print money

Yes please!

Cash cow

That would be cool to see :)

Being born with a silver spoon in their mouth

Also fun to see!

A penny for your thoughts

It would be the only time they’re worth something ;)

Bringing home the bacon

YES PLEASE!! YUM!!

Being made of money

Would you still wear clothes?

Turning on a dime

Skills!

A penny saved is a penny earned

Not exactly true with taxes, but it’s much easier to say than “a penny saved is a penny and 1/3 earned depending on your tax bracket” Lol…

Rolling in the money

SO much fun!

Money talks, bullshit walks

I’d love to see either of these two happen, haha…

Cooking the books

Not that tasty, but it would put a stop to the cheating!

The Dollar Store

“Where you get money” according to my 5 y/o :)

And while not financial… Liar liar pants on fire

So many people in Washington would be up in flames!! Haha..

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Financial sayings I’m glad are not true!

As much as I’d love to watch any of the above come true, if it means the following also happening then I take it all back :)

Paying through your nose

Ouch!

Costing an arm and a leg

Double ouch!

Putting your money where your mouth is

Disgusting.

Being stinking rich

Reminds me of one of our Would You Rathers back in the day – “Would you rather be attractive as hell BUT you never make more than $30k a year for the rest of your life? Orrrrrrr, you’re ugly as sin BUT you’re as rich as Oprah Winfrey?”

Pouring money down the drain

Blasphemy!!

Having more money than sense

I wouldn’t have much ;)

Making a killing

Hard to spend it all when IN JAIL!

Having money to burn

See: pouring money down the drain.

Your money or your life

When you manage your finances well you never have to choose! ;) Great book though.

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Did I miss any?

Here’s a non-financial one I like to say every time I leave the house, much to my wife’s displeasure: Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch!

Can’t say I’ve forgotten either at home in a while! ;)

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*Link to Your Money or Your Life book is an Amazon affiliate link.
**Post originally published in 2018 but just had to re-share :)

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47 Comments

  1. Petra July 20, 2018 at 7:41 AM

    Did you know that it’s “stinking rich”, because the rich people could afford to be buried INSIDE the church (underneath the church floor) and would thus stink up the church for a couple of years during deposition. (Blegh).

    Poor people were buried outside and thus didn’t stink as much.

    Reply
    1. J. Money July 20, 2018 at 7:57 AM

      Wha???? I did not know that – fascinating!! (and also disgusting!)

      Reply
  2. Nancy July 20, 2018 at 8:11 AM

    J-
    My dad ALWAYS recites “spectacles, testicles, wallet and keys” when leaving the house. Guess he never cared about the time! Shame he had two daughters, but we have boys who have picked up grandpa’s saying and delight in it!

    Reply
    1. J. Money July 20, 2018 at 10:01 AM

      Haha… your dad is my new favorite person :)

      Reply
      1. Scott July 21, 2018 at 10:34 PM

        I’d love to meet the guy that forgot his testicles at home.

        Reply
        1. J. Money July 23, 2018 at 10:08 AM

          That would be something :)

          Reply
  3. Zach July 20, 2018 at 8:34 AM

    Money doesn’t grow on trees! — I wish it did.. I would have an orchard .

    My job is in grocery retail and in a position that a few days a year, I literally bring home the bacon. Yesterday I brought home the panko. Today I will bring home the sunscreen.

    Reply
  4. CrazyMomMcGee July 20, 2018 at 8:48 AM

    Nuns on the run! Lmao!!!

    Reply
  5. Martinus July 20, 2018 at 9:19 AM

    Another one:

    “If I had your money I’d throw mine away.”

    Reply
    1. J. Money July 20, 2018 at 10:09 AM

      Is that a saying? Haha…

      Reply
    1. J. Money July 20, 2018 at 10:10 AM

      Okay – that’s good :)

      Reply
  6. Physician on FIRE July 20, 2018 at 9:28 AM

    “like flushing money down the toilet.” Hopefully starting with a fresh bowl.

    I learned “Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch” to be a mnemonic to help people remember the sign of the cross from my Dad or Grandpa. I still recite it in my head sometimes, but I’m saying “to the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit” out loud of course.

    From Nuns on the Run (1990): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqXZ9YoRD50

    Cheers!
    -PoF

    p.s. I don’t believe I’ve used the word “testicles” in a comment until this morning. Thank you for the opportunity.

    Reply
    1. J. Money July 20, 2018 at 10:12 AM

      I just heard that about the cross!! Where apparently people used to keep their wallets and watch in breast pockets so it matched where you do the sign – so fascinating…

      Reply
  7. Megan July 20, 2018 at 9:48 AM

    As a woman who’s given birth: Born with a silver spoon in the mouth goes firmly in the “Sayings I’m Glad Are Not True” and “Ouch” categories.

    Reply
    1. J. Money July 20, 2018 at 10:12 AM

      Haha… true that.

      Reply
  8. Michael July 20, 2018 at 10:18 AM

    These are awesome! Lol. A penny saved is not a penny earned for real! “Costing an arm and a leg” See J Coles video ATM lol.

    Reply
  9. Chris @ Mindful Explorer July 20, 2018 at 10:31 AM

    LoL well there is a first for everything :)
    Oh and I totally forgot about that movie, it was pretty funny back in the day.

    Reply
  10. JoeHx July 20, 2018 at 10:38 AM

    I asked my brother once if he thought he’d ever be filthy rich.

    He said he wasn’t sure, but he already had the filthy part down!

    Reply
  11. Lily | The Frugal Gene July 20, 2018 at 10:40 AM

    Lol!!! Why the fudge are these so funny…esp the thankfully not true ones. Arm and a leg hahaha. I like not being stabbed repeatedly.

    Reply
  12. SL July 20, 2018 at 2:51 PM

    My dad used to say — probably because my mom got on him. — eyes, pants money, and keys. :)

    Reply
    1. J. Money July 23, 2018 at 10:15 AM

      Definitely not as fun, haha…

      Reply
  13. Josh July 20, 2018 at 4:49 PM

    Personally I check for the PKW every time I leave the house – Phone, Keys, Wallet.

    Reply
  14. Kim July 20, 2018 at 7:03 PM

    Well if you’ve ever seen 45 in action then you’ve seen bullshit walk. Just my 2 cents.

    And, thanks for the laughs today!

    Reply
    1. Jon May 20, 2020 at 10:40 AM

      Why do you feel compelled to make a political statement?

      Reply
  15. Alaska49 July 21, 2018 at 4:55 AM

    My dad used to do/say the same thing…specticals….till my Mom got mad at him. We weren’t catholic, but Mom thought it was disrespectful.
    Anyway, here is a funny bit from classic SNL about debt…enjoy.
    https://vimeo.com/41152287

    Reply
    1. J. Money July 23, 2018 at 10:16 AM

      Haha yup – one of my favorites :)

      Reply
  16. Scott July 21, 2018 at 10:44 PM

    I’ve always wanted to swim (rolling is fine too) in money like Scrooge McDuck. I might love it more if I was bringing home the bacon too.

    Reply
  17. Steveark July 22, 2018 at 7:11 PM

    Well hey, thanks for making me do the calculation, I’m actually worth my weight in gold! I never knew that.

    Reply
    1. J. Money July 23, 2018 at 10:19 AM

      Too funny! And just about the only time where you actually want to weigh as much as you can, too :)

      Reply
  18. Becky July 24, 2018 at 3:59 PM

    So true about the Dollar store, it is never just a dollar! But we have a store around here called Dollar Tree, and literally everything in the store is a dollar (plus tax)! Of course the quality isn’t the best, but I bought a toothbrush cover, some flip flops to use in a public shower while camping and some other odds and ends. I got 8 things total, and my total was around $8.50.

    Reply
    1. J. Money July 24, 2018 at 5:33 PM

      I hope the Dollar Trees buy out all the Dollar Stores and make it easy on everyone from now on, haha…

      Reply
  19. Devin July 27, 2018 at 6:33 PM

    Very interesting post! Learning some new terms today :)

    I really don’t like the term “Being stinking rich”. If people worked hard and accumulated wealth, why labeling them in such negative terms.

    Reply
  20. Kevin July 31, 2018 at 7:03 AM

    Oh, this is priceless! Just when I needed a good laugh. The ‘ouch’ then ‘double ouch’ put me over the top laughing out load. Great post!

    Reply
  21. Slackerjo May 20, 2020 at 6:34 AM

    Lately I’ve been saying “you can’t find [insert hoarded item here] for love or money.”

    Reply
    1. J. Money May 20, 2020 at 8:03 AM

      Haha… sounds fitting for these times :)

      Reply
  22. Andrea May 20, 2020 at 9:27 AM

    More of an irritation than a money-ism, but…….

    From e-v-e-r-y financial planner we’ve ever spoken to……opening line in the interview,” So…..how do you see yourself in retirement?”

    Us:” Ummmmm……like Scrooge McDuck swimming in his vault of money.”

    Financial planner…….blank stare of confusion.

    We don’t have that vast wealth AT ALL, but…..ask a stoooopid question….. :-)

    Reply
    1. J. Money May 21, 2020 at 8:38 AM

      Haha…

      That reminds me of the start of every MLM talk I’ve heard over the years..

      “How would you like to make thousands of dollars extra every month and live the life of your dreams!” *And then proceeds to never tell you *exactly* how you can reach this epic dream until you go to their first meeting* lol…

      I fell for it many times as a teen, but now I just say “no thank you – that doesn’t interest me” and they stumble because who turns down thousands of dollars?? :)

      Reply
  23. Brian Winch May 20, 2020 at 10:48 AM

    Saving for a rainy day. What about sunny days?

    Reply
    1. J. Money May 21, 2020 at 8:40 AM

      Yeah!! Poor sunny days!! haha…

      Reply
  24. BC | FrugalWheels May 20, 2020 at 11:06 AM

    “Money doesn’t just grow on trees, you know!” But I mean, it kind of does when you think about it. In a few senses, really. The paper money is printed on does grow on trees. Trees are a valuable resource for their lumber. Also, there is a growing movement to assign monetary value to trees, for the benefits they give to cities and villages. Maybe I’m overthinking it ; p

    Reply
    1. J. Money May 21, 2020 at 8:43 AM

      I HAVE HEARD OF THAT!!!

      It would be awesome to one day say my Net Worth is 5 and a half Oak Trees or something, haha… Or better yet – 5 and a half Sequoias!

      Reply

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