Financial Sayings I Wish Were True!

Here are a bunch of financial phrases I wish were true, along with some that Iโ€™m glad are not.

If you ever wondered what I do on my spare time, this is it :)

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Being worth your weight in gold

At gold hovering around $1,770/oz currently, Iโ€™d be worth approximately $4,956,000!

Having a license to print money

Yes please!

Cash cow

That would be cool to see :)

Being born with a silver spoon in their mouth

Also fun to see!

A penny for your thoughts

It would be the only time theyโ€™re worth something ;)

Bringing home the bacon

YES PLEASE!! YUM!!

Being made of money

Would you still wear clothes?

Turning on a dime

Skills!

A penny saved is a penny earned

Not exactly true with taxes, but itโ€™s much easier to say than โ€œa penny saved is a penny and 1/3 earned depending on your tax bracketโ€ Lolโ€ฆ

Rolling in the money

SO much fun!

Money talks, bullshit walks

Iโ€™d love to see either of these two happen, hahaโ€ฆ

Cooking the books

Not that tasty, but it would put a stop to the cheating!

The Dollar Store

โ€œWhere you get moneyโ€ according to my 5 y/o :)

And while not financialโ€ฆ Liar liar pants on fire

So many people in Washington would be up in flames!! Haha..

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Financial sayings Iโ€™m glad are not true!

As much as Iโ€™d love to watch any of the above come true, if it means the following also happening then I take it all back :)

Paying through your nose

Ouch!

Costing an arm and a leg

Double ouch!

Putting your money where your mouth is

Disgusting.

Being stinking rich

Reminds me of one of our Would You Rathers back in the day โ€“ โ€œWould you rather be attractive as hell BUT you never make more than $30k a year for the rest of your life? Orrrrrrr, youโ€™re ugly as sin BUT youโ€™re as rich as Oprah Winfrey?โ€

Pouring money down the drain

Blasphemy!!

Having more money than sense

I wouldnโ€™t have much ;)

Making a killing

Hard to spend it all when IN JAIL!

Having money to burn

See: pouring money down the drain.

Your money or your life

When you manage your finances well you never have to choose! ;) Great book though.

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Did I miss any?

Hereโ€™s a non-financial one I like to say every time I leave the house, much to my wifeโ€™s displeasure: Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch!

Canโ€™t say Iโ€™ve forgotten either at home in a while! ;)

โ€”โ€”โ€”

*Link to Your Money or Your Life book is an Amazon affiliate link.
**Post originally published in 2018 but just had to re-share :)

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47 Comments

  1. Petra July 20, 2018 at 7:41 AM

    Did you know that itโ€™s โ€œstinking richโ€, because the rich people could afford to be buried INSIDE the church (underneath the church floor) and would thus stink up the church for a couple of years during deposition. (Blegh).

    Poor people were buried outside and thus didnโ€™t stink as much.

    1. J. Money July 20, 2018 at 7:57 AM

      Wha???? I did not know that โ€“ fascinating!! (and also disgusting!)

  2. Nancy July 20, 2018 at 8:11 AM

    J-
    My dad ALWAYS recites โ€œspectacles, testicles, wallet and keysโ€ when leaving the house. Guess he never cared about the time! Shame he had two daughters, but we have boys who have picked up grandpaโ€™s saying and delight in it!

    1. J. Money July 20, 2018 at 10:01 AM

      Hahaโ€ฆ your dad is my new favorite person :)

      1. Scott July 21, 2018 at 10:34 PM

        Iโ€™d love to meet the guy that forgot his testicles at home.

        1. J. Money July 23, 2018 at 10:08 AM

          That would be something :)

  3. Zach July 20, 2018 at 8:34 AM

    Money doesnโ€™t grow on trees! โ€” I wish it did.. I would have an orchard .

    My job is in grocery retail and in a position that a few days a year, I literally bring home the bacon. Yesterday I brought home the panko. Today I will bring home the sunscreen.

    1. J. Money July 20, 2018 at 10:02 AM

      Love it :)

  4. CrazyMomMcGee July 20, 2018 at 8:48 AM

    Nuns on the run! Lmao!!!

  5. Martinus July 20, 2018 at 9:19 AM

    Another one:

    โ€œIf I had your money Iโ€™d throw mine away.โ€

    1. J. Money July 20, 2018 at 10:09 AM

      Is that a saying? Hahaโ€ฆ

  6. Martinus July 20, 2018 at 9:22 AM

    On the same topic (sort of) and on the lighter side, a song:

    โ€œIf My Nose Was Running Money Honey (Iโ€™d Blow it all on You).โ€

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0CAWT6Xfxc

    1. J. Money July 20, 2018 at 10:10 AM

      Okay โ€“ thatโ€™s good :)

  7. Physician on FIRE July 20, 2018 at 9:28 AM

    โ€œlike flushing money down the toilet.โ€ Hopefully starting with a fresh bowl.

    I learned โ€œSpectacles, testicles, wallet and watchโ€ to be a mnemonic to help people remember the sign of the cross from my Dad or Grandpa. I still recite it in my head sometimes, but Iโ€™m saying โ€œto the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spiritโ€ out loud of course.

    From Nuns on the Run (1990): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqXZ9YoRD50

    Cheers!
    -PoF

    p.s. I donโ€™t believe Iโ€™ve used the word โ€œtesticlesโ€ in a comment until this morning. Thank you for the opportunity.

    1. J. Money July 20, 2018 at 10:12 AM

      I just heard that about the cross!! Where apparently people used to keep their wallets and watch in breast pockets so it matched where you do the sign โ€“ so fascinatingโ€ฆ

  8. Megan July 20, 2018 at 9:48 AM

    As a woman whoโ€™s given birth: Born with a silver spoon in the mouth goes firmly in the โ€œSayings Iโ€™m Glad Are Not Trueโ€ and โ€œOuchโ€ categories.

    1. J. Money July 20, 2018 at 10:12 AM

      Hahaโ€ฆ true that.

  9. Michael July 20, 2018 at 10:18 AM

    These are awesome! Lol. A penny saved is not a penny earned for real! โ€œCosting an arm and a legโ€ See J Coles video ATM lol.

    1. J. Money July 20, 2018 at 10:54 AM

      Trippy!

  10. Chris @ Mindful Explorer July 20, 2018 at 10:31 AM

    LoL well there is a first for everything :)
    Oh and I totally forgot about that movie, it was pretty funny back in the day.

  11. JoeHx July 20, 2018 at 10:38 AM

    I asked my brother once if he thought heโ€™d ever be filthy rich.

    He said he wasnโ€™t sure, but he already had the filthy part down!

    1. J. Money July 20, 2018 at 10:50 AM

      Classic :)

  12. Lily | The Frugal Gene July 20, 2018 at 10:40 AM

    Lol!!! Why the fudge are these so funnyโ€ฆesp the thankfully not true ones. Arm and a leg hahaha. I like not being stabbed repeatedly.

  13. SL July 20, 2018 at 2:51 PM

    My dad used to say โ€” probably because my mom got on him. โ€” eyes, pants money, and keys. :)

    1. J. Money July 23, 2018 at 10:15 AM

      Definitely not as fun, hahaโ€ฆ

  14. Josh July 20, 2018 at 4:49 PM

    Personally I check for the PKW every time I leave the house โ€“ Phone, Keys, Wallet.

  15. Kim July 20, 2018 at 7:03 PM

    Well if youโ€™ve ever seen 45 in action then youโ€™ve seen bullshit walk. Just my 2 cents.

    And, thanks for the laughs today!

    1. Jon May 20, 2020 at 10:40 AM

      Why do you feel compelled to make a political statement?

  16. Alaska49 July 21, 2018 at 4:55 AM

    My dad used to do/say the same thingโ€ฆspecticalsโ€ฆ.till my Mom got mad at him. We werenโ€™t catholic, but Mom thought it was disrespectful.
    Anyway, here is a funny bit from classic SNL about debtโ€ฆenjoy.
    https://vimeo.com/41152287

    1. J. Money July 23, 2018 at 10:16 AM

      Haha yup โ€“ one of my favorites :)

  17. Scott July 21, 2018 at 10:44 PM

    Iโ€™ve always wanted to swim (rolling is fine too) in money like Scrooge McDuck. I might love it more if I was bringing home the bacon too.

  18. Steveark July 22, 2018 at 7:11 PM

    Well hey, thanks for making me do the calculation, Iโ€™m actually worth my weight in gold! I never knew that.

    1. J. Money July 23, 2018 at 10:19 AM

      Too funny! And just about the only time where you actually want to weigh as much as you can, too :)

  19. Becky July 24, 2018 at 3:59 PM

    So true about the Dollar store, it is never just a dollar! But we have a store around here called Dollar Tree, and literally everything in the store is a dollar (plus tax)! Of course the quality isnโ€™t the best, but I bought a toothbrush cover, some flip flops to use in a public shower while camping and some other odds and ends. I got 8 things total, and my total was around $8.50.

    1. J. Money July 24, 2018 at 5:33 PM

      I hope the Dollar Trees buy out all the Dollar Stores and make it easy on everyone from now on, hahaโ€ฆ

  20. Devin July 27, 2018 at 6:33 PM

    Very interesting post! Learning some new terms today :)

    I really donโ€™t like the term โ€œBeing stinking richโ€. If people worked hard and accumulated wealth, why labeling them in such negative terms.

    1. J. Money July 30, 2018 at 9:41 AM

      #TRUTH

  21. Kevin July 31, 2018 at 7:03 AM

    Oh, this is priceless! Just when I needed a good laugh. The โ€˜ouchโ€™ then โ€˜double ouchโ€™ put me over the top laughing out load. Great post!

  22. Slackerjo May 20, 2020 at 6:34 AM

    Lately Iโ€™ve been saying โ€œyou canโ€™t find [insert hoarded item here] for love or money.โ€

    1. J. Money May 20, 2020 at 8:03 AM

      Hahaโ€ฆ sounds fitting for these times :)

  23. Andrea May 20, 2020 at 9:27 AM

    More of an irritation than a money-ism, butโ€ฆโ€ฆ.

    From e-v-e-r-y financial planner weโ€™ve ever spoken toโ€ฆโ€ฆopening line in the interview,โ€ Soโ€ฆ..how do you see yourself in retirement?โ€

    Us:โ€ Ummmmmโ€ฆโ€ฆlike Scrooge McDuck swimming in his vault of money.โ€

    Financial plannerโ€ฆโ€ฆ.blank stare of confusion.

    We donโ€™t have that vast wealth AT ALL, butโ€ฆ..ask a stoooopid questionโ€ฆ.. :-)

    1. J. Money May 21, 2020 at 8:38 AM

      Hahaโ€ฆ

      That reminds me of the start of every MLM talk Iโ€™ve heard over the years..

      โ€œHow would you like to make thousands of dollars extra every month and live the life of your dreams!โ€ *And then proceeds to never tell you *exactly* how you can reach this epic dream until you go to their first meeting* lolโ€ฆ

      I fell for it many times as a teen, but now I just say โ€œno thank you โ€“ that doesnโ€™t interest meโ€ and they stumble because who turns down thousands of dollars?? :)

  24. Brian Winch May 20, 2020 at 10:48 AM

    Saving for a rainy day. What about sunny days?

    1. J. Money May 21, 2020 at 8:40 AM

      Yeah!! Poor sunny days!! hahaโ€ฆ

  25. BC | FrugalWheels May 20, 2020 at 11:06 AM

    โ€œMoney doesnโ€™t just grow on trees, you know!โ€ But I mean, it kind of does when you think about it. In a few senses, really. The paper money is printed on does grow on trees. Trees are a valuable resource for their lumber. Also, there is a growing movement to assign monetary value to trees, for the benefits they give to cities and villages. Maybe Iโ€™m overthinking it ; p

    1. J. Money May 21, 2020 at 8:43 AM

      I HAVE HEARD OF THAT!!!

      It would be awesome to one day say my Net Worth is 5 and a half Oak Trees or something, hahaโ€ฆ Or better yet โ€“ 5 and a half Sequoias!