Three Things You Should Never Do in Retirement

Good morning!

You know those people who quit their jobs and jump right into retirement, only to find out it’s the worst thing in the world and now they’re stuck and freaking out and don’t know what to do with themselves?!

Don’t be like those people :)

There’s a better way! And the Wealth of Geeks just interviewed an expert on this very same topic which can help steer you into a better future: ME.

The original article has now been taken down, but it was a really well written and concise piece, and really couldn’t say more about how smart – and good looking – the interviewee seemed, lol… Sources say, however, it was only a fraction of the brilliance captured from the interview, so I had my team dig up the entire 4 page Q&A email for you because that’s the kind of thoughtful person I am.

May it help you retire faster, and even happier! You’re welcome!!

*****

How old were you when you retired? What year was that??

J$: I don’t know if I ever made it “official”, but I mentally started pretending I was retired in January of 2023 😂 I honestly don’t think I’ll ever be retired-retired as I’ll always be working or thinking about *some* project out there, but financially-speaking I don’t need to make any more money to survive.

What was your net worth when you retired?

J$: $2 Mil+

How old were you when you opened your first savings account?

J$: Oh wow – never been asked that question before! I’m sure my parents at some point opened one up for me when I was a kid to teach me about banking stuff, but the first one I personally remember opening was in the start of college, so probably like around 17?

Did you always plan on retiring early, or did it “just happen?”

J$: Nope – never even thought about it or KNEW it was an option really. Even when I was blogging! It wasn’t until the blogs Early Retirement Extreme and Mr. Money Mustache came onto the scene that something stirred in me. I of course knew that saving more would give me more freedom in general, but never put the two together or strategized it out until reading them. Then I was hooked!

What keeps you busy these days?

Lots of yoga! (5-7x a week)

Lots of working out (3x a week)

Lots of volunteering/helping out friends (2-3x a week)

Lots of wrangling my 3 boys (24-7!!!)

Since I stopped working an official “job” I became the defacto Parent-In-Charge as my wife still very happily works :) So lots of taking kids back and forth from school or soccer practice or doctor appointments or the pool when we’re in the heat of Summer.

I’ve also started doing the laundry every day and taken over grocery shopping as well as anything else that makes me look good to my wife for a better chance of continuing this Good Life, lol…

What is your favorite money quote?

I don’t know where I heard this or if it’s even the right words, but this mindset really hit home the first time I heard it:

Millionaires don’t become millionaires by spending money, they become millionaires by saving money.

You always assume people with fancy cars or mansions are rich, but to get those fancy things you actually have to SPEND YOUR RICHES! Lol… Becoming a millionaire is much more boring.

What are the top 3 things one should *never do* in early retirement? Did you learn these from experience or by observing other early retirees?

#1. Never go cold turkey into retirement without testing it first!

You know those horror stories of people retiring and then being bored out of their mind and either wasting away a few short years later or going back to work just because they don’t know what else to do with themselves?! Don’t let that be you!!

Test it out by taking weeks-long, or months-long, sabbaticals and pretending you’re retired. Then what do you do with your time? How does it make you feel? Are you lonely? Do you have hobbies you can get into?! Are all your friends working and can’t come play with you because they still have jobs?? (more than likely, esp if you’re retiring EARLY!).

These are all things you can test a little and figure out *before* pulling the chord as you want to KNOW what you’re getting into and not leaving it up to fate. And if you can’t take weeks or months off at a time, practice on the nights and weekends! Start joining clubs and going on adventures with friends/family/church members. Start building a life NOW that’s exciting to ease into and not a scary unknown one for later – even if you don’t think it’ll be scary.

(And btw, if you DO end up going back to work? So what! Retirement is not for everyone – a better thing to measure is whether you’re happy or not in the stage. If you enjoy working, don’t stop working! The trick is staying as true to yourself as possible, and by practicing “retirement” early you’ll get a sense of this much sooner before entering Freak Out Mode.)

I naturally started doing this the second I learned you could blog for a living ;) I started building my ideal life and then eventually over the years I started working less and less (and less) until eventually I was accidentally “retired” haha… And even then I still struggled a bit! Then I came across this quote and it got me back on the path:

When you’re stuck, just sit down with a notepad and start writing… your brain has things it wants to say even if you don’t know what they are.

#2: Don’t assume all your friends and family will be available at all times!

You’re the one retiring, not them, so more often than not you will have to figure out what to do with yourself from 9-5 each day :) And it’ll take some getting used to!

But here’s the awesome part: since everyone’s working you get all the grocery stores and other shops/places/parks/etc ALL TO YOURSELF! Which makes it a perfect time to do boring errands or housework or anything else you still need to do in life whether you have lots of money or not.

It also makes for a great time to do anything purely selfish for yourself too, like writing or fishing or yoga’ing or working out, etc. Then by the time the afternoon rolls by you’ll be freed up to play and hang out with everyone and feel equally as productive!

Another hint: people still do have to eat lunch every day, so on days you’re super lonely or just missing friends, offer to come to their work and eat with them!

One of the first things I did in retirement was to make a list of every single friend of mine I haven’t caught up with in months and drove out to have lunch with them. Some were local so I knocked those out pretty easily, and then others I had to plan ahead of time as they lived 1-3 hours out. But every single person was thrilled to meet up, and they truly appreciated that I made the effort to visit THEM vs the opposite since I’ve got all the time in the world, they don’t!

#3. Don’t over-schedule your days. Leave time for “flow”!

One of the first things I came to realize in early retirement is that even when you free up 40 hours of work you still can’t manage to get everything done you had planned to 😂 And if you ask any retiree they’ll all say the same – there’s still not enough time in the day!

So rather than scheduling out every free hour you have, build in some “flow” time that allows you to more calmly go about your day and allowing for whatever life throws at you.  Appointments running late, traffic jams holding you up, kids getting hurt or needing to be picked up from school early, etc. Even though you’re retired, LIFE still happens.

On the plus side, it also happens for the better ;) Running into an old friend on the street and having the time to grab an impromptu coffee, getting into a rhythm with a project you’re working on and not wanting to stop since you’re on a roll!, getting a phone call from someone important and being able to take it right then and there (hi mom!).

The more time you leave “open” the more opportunities you have to adapt to life’s whims. Still plan and do your best to feel fulfilled of course, but those built in times of “nothing” can end up becoming some of the best 🙌

Anything else you’d like people to know about you, your situation, or anything else?

Yes – getting into minimalism was a game changer for me/my finances! I was doing fine before it, but when I realized having less “stuff” freed up not only more time but also $$$ it was like pouring gasoline on my FIRE plans!

I ruthlessly started decluttering my entire household, and then moved to digital clutter and responsibility clutter and then even (toxic) friends clutter! You can apply minimalism to ALL areas in life! And the less and less stuff I “needed”, the less and less money I needed which meant opening up more and more freedom.

One of my favorite mantras is below which still holds true today:

Freedom > Money > Stuff

Print it out and put it on your fridge! 😁

// END

******

UPDATE: Before I hit publish on this post, I randomly got this note from a friend (hi Anthony!): “I’ve been starting to think about what retirement will look like for me in three years. I’ve started working with a coach to keep me focused and accountable. We meet once a month, and she’s a good thought partner as I explore my desires and options. I come away from each meeting with “homework” for the next meeting, so it’s not just a bunch of navel-gazing.” – YESS!! There are a ton of places and experts out there that could help direct you better if you don’t trust yourself enough to set aside the time for it!

In fact, I just caught this from Apex Money as well: How to Start a Retirement Planning Group or Club: Plan for a Happier Wealthier Future, Together via Boldin.com. Fritz from Retirement Manifesto has started one with his friends, and you can find his thoughts on it so far here: What I’ve Learned From My Retirement Mastermind Group

Lots of options! Start thinking about it today!

[Photo by Vincent Gerbouin]

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12 Comments

  1. Brian September 3, 2024 at 6:08 AM

    What does your motto mean?:

    Freedom > Money > Stuff

    Thank you.

    Reply
    1. J. Money September 3, 2024 at 7:01 AM

      It means freedom is the ultimate goal with all this stuff… yes you need money, but it’s not the end goal, nor is accumulating a bunch of objects! The point of paying attention to all this money stuff is to build a life where you’re free to choose what to do with your time, and on your own terms :)

      Here’s a blog post I wrote on it: https://budgetsaresexy.com/freedom-money-stuff/

      Reply
    1. J. Money September 3, 2024 at 9:45 AM

      YES!! I knew I had heard of someone in our community doing this, just couldn’t recall who…. I updated the post to include your article too – I remember reading it and thinking how powerful (and fun sounding!) it was! Thx for dropping it 🤙

      Reply
  2. Paul September 3, 2024 at 3:21 PM

    Honestly, I feel like there isn’t enough relatable content out there on the realities of early retirement and married people. I think it takes a special spouse to agree to a certain standard of living in perpetuity. Early retirement is only possible if both parties agree that the other person’s freedom>stuff.

    I do sometimes imagine what days would be like though. I would like to think I would have the freedom to focus on physical fitness and personal hobbies but in reality my days would probably just be prepping meals for my family, cleaning the house and then carting my 4 kids around to their 7 different sports practices (which, can be annoying to spend so much time in the car) but I wouldn’t trade this time in my life for the world. Working I would trade but that’s it.

    Reply
    1. J. Money September 4, 2024 at 12:17 PM

      Well fortunately they’re in school for most of the day so you get plenty of time (and rest!) for yourself before activating Dad Mode, lol… And meal prepping and fitness only takes so long so you’d be fine, believe me ;)

      But you are right on the spouse thing. I get asked all the time – even from my own mom!! – if Mrs. BudgetsAreSexy truly is OK with it, so I’ll literally ask her every 3-4 months just in case I’ve overlooked any flags. And – I’ll ask her if she wants to join me!!! But i guess our personalities are so different that that isn’t even a thought to her as she likes the stability/routine of a 9-5 job (and health insurance!). But maybe one day ;)

      Reply
  3. Financial Fives September 3, 2024 at 4:17 PM

    Totally agree with the idea of finding things to do from 9-5, but it’s so liberating! I don’t know how people get bored in retirement, as there is always a need for volunteers, always community activism that needs support, a senior home that needs help, or books that can be read. I hope people find their second true calling, because the volunteers I’ve met at parks, trails, libraries, and museums make the experience so much better, and they are happy!

    I don’t know about the places that are all uncrowded during the day though. I once took a random day off last year and the grocery store, library, car dealership, and doctors offices were all packed between 10-3 on a Wednesday!

    Reply
    1. J. Money September 4, 2024 at 12:20 PM

      hah! bad luck on your part thee 😂

      but you’re 100% right on the volunteer stuff!! it’s just as beneficial to YOU as it is the people/places/organizations you’re volunteering at! we’d all do so much more of it if we didn’t have to worry about money so much :)

      Reply
  4. Joe September 9, 2024 at 11:07 AM

    Nice interview. I don’t know how people get bored in retirement. Life has been so busy since I retired from my full-time job 12 years ago. There are plenty of things to do. I guess it depends on your personality. If you have plenty of stuff to do outside of work, then you’ll be fine after retirement. I haven’t been very good with the socializing part, though. All my friends are still busy.

    Reply
    1. J. Money September 9, 2024 at 12:03 PM

      “If you have plenty of stuff to do outside of work, then you’ll be fine after retirement. ” — That’s a great way of putting it! People who have lots of hobbies and are always *active* will have no problem, but if your personality is not like that like you said, then more time needs to be dedicated to figuring out how best to survive retirement, and maybe you just don’t? Cutting back hours to half time or part time might keep a strong foundation for those types of people too so it’s not so extreme.

      Reply
  5. Scarlet September 25, 2024 at 8:40 AM

    I love that you were inspired by blogs to retire early- that made you realize it could be a goal and an option. I need to soak in some of that inspiration myself! I do think saving money is sexy because I think it is smart for me, those are very attractive qualities. Learning how to handle money well is on ongoing pursuit and soaking details here and there really helps so thanks!

    Reply
    1. J. Money September 25, 2024 at 11:33 AM

      Glad you enjoyed it, Scarlett! Going over now to check out your blog :)

      Reply

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