Attack of The Googlers

You Googled My What?It’s time for another rousing game of “I got Googled, and I liked it!” Featuring a whole bunch of inquisitive bastards searching for love in all the wrong places ;)

(Seriously, you’d be amazed at the stuff some people are entering online to get to this site!Β  You throw “sexy” in your domain and the pornsters come out of everywhere… too bad they don’t stick around long enough to learn about the magic of budgeting! haha…)

Here are a mess of questions people are searching for which lead them to Budgets Are Sexy.Β  I do my breast to answer them:

WHAT JOB WOULD I NEED TO DO TO LIVE IN A MANSION?
Anything that doesn’t require typing – you are YELLING AT ME!! Haha… I’ll forgive you this time though, in hopes you have your caps lock on. To answer your question, try becoming a doctor, a pimp, or an astronaut.Β  If you don’t have the time, become a nanny ;)

tipping at the start of a meal
Yes!Β  Not a question, I recognize that, but certainly an interesting topic for discussion.Β  For anyone new here, check out my post on the pros of tipping at the START of a meal, rather than after.Β  It sounds radical, but in theory it works well ;)

george jefferson net worth on the jefferson
Come again?

Sell your virginity
Now we’re talking! Haha…. I keep forgetting to blog about this again. I just loved how open and honest people were the first time aroundΒ  – even if there’s no way in hell I’d do it myself (that’s right, you didn’t know I was a virgin did you?!).

financial pickup lines
β€œYou’re so hot you could melt my debt snowball.”
β€œCall me your mutual fund, honey…’cause with you, I’m showing interest.”
β€œWhen I saw you, my jaw dropped like the value of a new car.”

(you’re welcome)

is usaa only for military
Nope! Well at least most of their banking products.Β  You can totally sign up for a checking and savings and a number of other products they offer – just not insurance.Β  Which admittedly isΒ  what everyone’s after.Β  They give nice checks back ever year to their members! (Just got one for $82-something – woo!)

how to cut your spouse off
Uhhh… pretty sure I never wrote about that before! Seems like a sucky situation though… my stock answer for this relationship stuff is always the same:Β  gotta communicate better!Β  95% of issues can be solved by talking it through appropriately.Β  Which only works if both sides genuinely care, btw ;)

mom always says I dress like a bum
Hah! Welcome to the club.

how to pimp out your old clothes
I’d love to know the answer to this! :)Β  I know how to get rid of my old clothes, but def. not how to pimp them (other than the layering effect – but that’s usually better for women).

make swear jar
Yeah! Love it, esp. for kids. I once tried this years ago when I gave up cursing for Lent… all the money was to go to charity, and let’s just say it was a hefty amount!

does net worth include home
It can if you want it too!Β  But it’s ultimately up to you as to what you want to put there (although it probably is the most common – at least from what I’ve seen).Β  “Net worth” is broadly defined as all assets minus liabilities. So if you consider your house an asset, or what to get an overall picture of your entire financial situation (which is what I like), then yeah – homes usually go in there.Β  Especially if you have a large liability on the other side of that equation (It doesn’t make sense to put a house in there and not the debt owed on it, right?).Β  Some people like concentrating on more liquid types of assets though and might disregard it. In that case, you just have to figure out what to do w/ that huge a$$ loan that’s attached that house.

Remember though, the point of calculating your Net Worth is to help you get a sense for what your total situation looks like so you can then track it and see how you’re progressing. The more you leave out, the less accurate it may be. (quick note though – most of us don’t track our possessions like couches, tvs, books, etc etc – only the major stuff)

financial tip of the day
Spend less than you earn!!!Β  The most boring/popular advice in the entire PF world, but my damn if it’s not true.Β  You follow that one simple rule and you’ll be fine for the rest of your life :)Β Β  Just too bad it’s a lot easier said than done. (another boring, yet accurate phrase).

are firearms good investment?
This one’s actually from another blogger’s search terms, but I couldn’t help but list it – I’ve never heard of such a question :)Β  I don’t even know where to start, haha… I guess it would be a great investment if it ends up saving your life one day! But as far as money-wise, you’ve got me. What do y’all think?

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21 Comments

  1. tom December 21, 2010 at 8:33 AM

    “are firearms good investment?”

    If you have a price on your head, then yes.

    See what I did there? Clever, I know.

  2. Kevin @ Thousandaire.com December 21, 2010 at 9:20 AM

    It is amazing what people can search for to find your website. Here’s one I got today:

    it is christmas and smoke assist stole m

    If only I could see the rest of that search… :(

  3. Jonathan December 21, 2010 at 9:48 AM

    Haha! Those are pretty awesome. Can’t wait until I get more traffic, to see what brings people to my site. Only a month in, so I’m sitting pretty quiet for now. :)

  4. Trinnie S December 21, 2010 at 9:58 AM

    haha this has to be one of my favorite posts!!! I’m especially digging the “financial pickup lines.” Gonna have to try it on the hubby!

  5. Ash December 21, 2010 at 10:11 AM

    Fun one!

    I do have to say, J$, the following:

    “I do my breast to answer them:”

    Did you mean:

    “I do my best to answer them”?

    It made me smile. :)

  6. Cassie December 21, 2010 at 10:37 AM

    “Are fire arms a good investment?”

    Nope, as with most things they lose value over time as you use them. Multiply that loss several times over if you don’t look after it properly. The only time you’re going to make money on fire arms is if you are very knowlegable in the subject and are an avid collector. Even then most do it for the interest, not the money. It may not be the nicest way of putting it, but in this situation if you have to ask, the answer is no.

  7. Jessica W December 21, 2010 at 11:04 AM

    Re-firearms, since the sunset of the assault weapons ban, it does appear that firearms are a much worse investment than they were a few years ago. Don’t ask me how I know this… please.

  8. Kellen December 21, 2010 at 11:08 AM

    Some people collect antique fire arms, but collectibles generally aren’t a solid investment. Better off going with a mutual fund.

    Unless you live in a shady part of town. And then maybe. But some statistics show that you’re more likely to get hurt with your own weapon than you are to hurt someone else with it. (Don’t quote me on that. I heard it a lot when I lived in Massachusetts.)

    But if you get shot with your own gun, the hospital bills and time off work will be very BAD for your financial situation!

  9. The Financial Blogger December 21, 2010 at 11:29 AM

    Funny one! Amazed by what they searched! And very interesting you managed to find answers… I wonder what it tells us from you… :-P Seriously, you’ll get even more traffic from them now! Good luck with that!

  10. Jason@LiveRealNow December 21, 2010 at 12:13 PM

    Most firearms hold their value fairly well, assuming they are used the average amount, instead of used heavily. Very few appreciate.

    Of course if you buy before a ban, they become priceless after.

  11. J. Money December 21, 2010 at 12:56 PM

    If any of you are avid gun collectors, or know a lot about them when it comes to money, give me a shout. I smell a new Side Hustle in the works ;)

    @tom – Ziiiiiiiiiiing!
    @Kevin @ Thousandaire.com – Hahah…. damn you! I wanted to see how it ends too!!
    @Jonathan – oh yeah, you’ll love it :) just be sure to post them up for all us to see too! can’t keep those gems to yourself.
    @Trinnie S – haha, really? out of all the posts i spend hours and hours of research on and in-depth thought? (yeah right!)
    @Ash – I’ll never tell ;)
    @Cassie – Good to know! Seems like that would be the case…
    @Jessica W – This is me *not* asking you how you know this?
    @Kellen – I’ve heard that same thing too about guns – that they can be more dangerous to yourself than they do good. Pretty interesting…. and freaky, which is why I’ll probably never have one. I’m a major clutz. Plus, not good to have around if kids start popping out ;)
    @The Financial Blogger – Haha, I may or may not have considered that before posting them ;)
    @Jason@LiveRealNow – Oooooooh now that’s an idea!

  12. Briana @ GBR December 21, 2010 at 2:34 PM

    I love looking at key terms that bring people to the site. It really makes me think “what are you REALLY looking for, and why did you think my site was the place to go for it?” Haha, good ones!

  13. Ryan@TheFinancialStudent December 21, 2010 at 3:12 PM

    I don’t have many good ones, but someone used “should children be payed for ” to reach my site.

    Of course they should be! All the cool people are buying their babies these days.

  14. Budgeting in the Fun Stuff December 21, 2010 at 3:24 PM

    I live in Houston, TX – firearms are sometimes someone’s ONLY investment… :-)

    I would go broke with a swear jar…bad idea for this Irish girl…

  15. Molly On Money December 21, 2010 at 9:23 PM

    This came in on mine two days ago: ‘Can a mouse eat a tree?’
    It linked them to my story about my Christmas tree soiled in mouse pee. I hope I was of some help.

    Here was todays: ‘sexy nakid red heads’
    Although I am a redhead (and I think I’m pretty damn sexy) I don’t think I have any stories about being ‘nakid’!

  16. DH @ The Money Blog Revisited December 22, 2010 at 5:15 PM

    I love those financial pick up lines! :) They’re awesome! I’ve got to try them out sometime.

  17. Pete L December 22, 2010 at 9:22 PM

    I actually know a fellow who has a room full of antique firearms, along with other old military stuff, like World War I and older. Whether it’s a good investment or whether he’s just a nut, I’m not so sure. :-)

    That’s the first thing I thought of, but then it occurred to me, were they wondering if firearms were a good investment, meaning, is it a good industry to buy stocks in?

  18. J. Money December 22, 2010 at 9:59 PM

    @Jason@LiveRealNow – Haha, nice. You may hear from me then at some point ;)
    @Briana @ GBR – Glad you enjoyed!
    @Ryan@TheFinancialStudent – hahahhaaa… zing!
    @Budgeting in the Fun Stuff – Yeah Irish!
    @Molly On Money – Ahahahahahahhhaa… omg that is too funny! A mouse EATING a tree?? hahah… wow. they never cease to amaze these silly searchers. I am dying w/ laughter over here!
    @DH @ The Money Blog Revisited – haha, yeah they are pretty financially nerdy ;) errrr…sexy!
    @Pete L – Haha… I’d actually like to check out that guy’s collection! I collect old Civil War stuff that I’ve found metal detecting… Love that kinda thing. And yeah, maybe they were searching for stock stuff? Good point.

  19. Charlie F December 28, 2010 at 10:19 AM

    Firearms are a good investment if you’re interested in investing in a hobby of shooting. There’s many clubs out there to help people get started. IF you’re investing in them for personal protection, there’s so many variables (like crime rates, the liklihood of your home/apt being broke into, your ability to shoot well under pressure), but ultimately if it’s buying a gun vs losing your life, yes. A very good investment.

  20. J. Money December 28, 2010 at 6:51 PM

    if only we can see the future ;)