The Night Before Fintech Christmas

A beautiful poem for all financial nerds out there :) By the folks at CSTMR – a financial tech marketing firm who can market my one-day-company any time after coming up with this gem – hah!

“The Night Before Fintech Christmas”

Twas the night before Christmas,
And money was flowing
to Big Finance and Big Banks
With no sign of slowing

Fees and surcharges
Were applied with care
With hopes that Regulators
Would stay out of their hair

When up popped a startup
Then two and then three
Nibbling at the edges
Where the Banks’ business should be

“We don’t need to worry”
“They can’t compete with us Banks”
“Who would trust a new startup?”
“Thanks, but no thanks”


But from Alternative Lending
Arose such a clatter
Suddenly acquiring customers
In numbers that matter

There is Lendio and Kabbage
Funding Circle and OnDeck
SmartBiz and LoanNow
The Banks said, ‘What the heck?”

Yet before the Big Banks
Rose and collected themselves
Came new ways to pay
O’er the Net, off the shelf

Emerged Square and Stripe
And WePay and Dwolla
Klarna and Braintree
The Banks started to holler

“Stop right there you startups!
With your beards and cool glasses
Bringing dogs into work
And noontime yoga classes”

“Un- and under-banked
Have no place at our table
Your ‘alt credit ratings’
Make the whole thing unstable!”


But stop they did not
In fact they kept coming
VCs sent more money
The growth metrics were humming

Wallets open to fintech
Were Spark, TTV and Kleiner
Fintech Collective and Andreessen
Dealflow couldn’t be finer

Now the Old Guard was nervous
Some started to fret
“Is that it? Is it over now?”
But they ain’t seen nothing yet

Hitting right at the heart
Of FinServ’s bread and butter
Personal Finance and Wealth Management
Came one after another

Wealthfront made a splash
Betterment did as well
Credit Karma & Nav arrived
With services to sell


“At least there’s one area
That won’t cause pain in our butts
That’s cryptocurrency and Bitcoin
Because those guys are nuts”

So they ignored Coinbase and Xapo
Align Commerce and BitPay
“They have nothing to offer
Fiat currency’s here to stay”

But along with Bitcoin
Came a tech called blockchain
“We don’t get how that works
But it’s a threat just the same!”


“Woe is me!” some moaned
“Our branch network means we’re sunk!”
But a few Banks were not done yet
They said, “This is bunk!”

“There are things we do well
Certain processes we know
And these guys need a place
To park all that dough”

And so they set about partnering
Investing in and acquiring
These startups and quick growth firms
Whose customers they were desiring


So is there room at the table?
Is there a happy ending
For Fintech Startups and Big Banks
in PFM, payments and lending?

We have no crystal ball
Just remember, play nice
However it turns out
We’ll leave you with this advice

Recognize what’s important
May your blessings be many
And wear more comfortable shoes
Next year at Money 20/20!

(Money 20/20 is the world’s largest payments & financial services conference :))

Thanks for another beautiful year, every one! Happy Holidays!!

(Visited 46 times, 1 visits today)

Get blog posts automatically emailed to you!


  1. Mrs. Mad Money Monster | @madmoneymonster December 23, 2015 at 5:10 AM

    Ahhhh. Comfortable shoes sound wonderful :) Thsnk you, J. Money, for another year of financially sound and entertaining articles. Happy Holidays to you and your family!

    Mrs. Mad Money Monster

  2. Emma | Money Can Buy Me Happiness December 23, 2015 at 5:27 AM

    Love it. What an amazing time we live in, where brilliant people can work anywhere, create anything, bring their dogs to the office and do yoga at lunchtimes. Happy holidays to all.

    1. J. Money December 23, 2015 at 10:19 AM

      Hell yeahhhh!

  3. Chris @ Flipping A Dollar December 23, 2015 at 6:10 AM

    Fantastic. I love seeing the old guard get thrown for a loop (tried Uber for the first time. What a great experience).

    You know you have a good idea when the only thing a big company can think to do in response is to shine (lobby) to the government about how unfair life is!

    1. Chris @ Flipping A Dollar December 23, 2015 at 6:50 AM

      *whine. :) its a bit early for spelling right! The banks definitely don’t “shine”!

      1. J. Money December 23, 2015 at 10:20 AM

        I thought it was some sort of hipster slang ;)

  4. Kalie @ Pretend to Be Poor December 23, 2015 at 7:08 AM

    Wow, this is so quirky and nerdy–I love it! Had no idea there were that many alternative financial services companies out there. It’s nice to see more options for sure. I love parodies!

    1. J. Money December 23, 2015 at 10:21 AM

      Me neither! That’s why I went back to link to them all as the original poem just bolded the names… Was fun to poke around for a while :)

  5. Roy Largo @ Band of Savers December 23, 2015 at 7:11 AM

    That was an awesome poem. Good way to kick off the day. And filled with truth and history nonetheless.

  6. Rich Rabbit December 23, 2015 at 9:29 AM

    Fa RaRaRaRaRa, RaRa Ra Ra.. Thanks for poem.

  7. Abigail @ipickuppennies December 23, 2015 at 9:53 AM

    Nice! I hadn’t really stopped and counted just how many rivals there are now for traditional banks. And all I can say is… good!

    1. J. Money December 23, 2015 at 10:26 AM

      Exactly! They could have inserted a solid 50 more companies too here and it still wouldn’t have captured everyone… So great to have options with technology now!

  8. Free to Pursue December 23, 2015 at 10:48 AM

    Wow! Where do you find this stuff? It was a fun read…and useful links to boot ;).

    Merry Christmas to the entire Money Family. Ho Ho Hold on to Your Dough!

    1. J. Money December 24, 2015 at 1:04 PM

      Haha… totally steeling that line :)

  9. EL December 23, 2015 at 1:53 PM

    Creative poem and it goes to show the power of startups. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

  10. CSTMR Fintech Marketing December 23, 2015 at 3:03 PM

    Thanks for the repost, J$! Glad you enjoyed it. A happy fintech holidays to everyone.

    Now for next year’s poem, what rhymes with “budgetsaresexy”?…

    1. J. Money December 24, 2015 at 1:12 PM

      You too, sir! Thanks again for letting me steal this and share around :)

  11. Scott December 24, 2015 at 12:52 AM

    “let’s charge with flexpay?”

    1. J. Money December 24, 2015 at 1:06 PM


  12. Jayson @ Monster Piggy Bank December 25, 2015 at 7:01 PM

    That poem is really good and very inspiring! Happy Fintech Holidays!

  13. Gerri December 29, 2015 at 9:59 PM

    Very creative! Happy New (Fintechy) Year.

    1. J. Money December 31, 2015 at 11:35 AM

      Thanks Gerri :) Hope to connect with you in the new year!