Don’t Go Shopping While Drunk.

Sometimes when you get home from work, all you want is a beer or glass of wine. Totally cool.  But if you plan on going out shopping afterward, a word to the wise:  BE CAREFUL! There’s nothing like a few drinks to get your wallet all loosey goosey.

And that’s exactly what happened to me the other night.  I wasn’t totally off my rocker, but I was buzzed enough to know I shouldn’t be out trying to put outfits together.  Not so much for the styles I’d end up with, but mainly because of the price tags!  When you’ve had a few you tend to think everything’s a bargain ;) And also that you “deserve it.” (usually you don’t – you’re just in a state of being easily convinced)

Luckily though, staying constrained to TJ Maxx can only get you in so much trouble. That, and the fact that you need a sober person to take you there since drinking and driving is bad bad bad!! So this means you have a partner in crime who can watch your back and veto any unnecessary, or simply foolish, purchases. I was rightfully denied a douche baggery Ed Hardy jacket (a term I absolutely can’t stand, but will use because of it’s incredibly exact description) and came away with only dropping 30 bucks.  Which isn’t too bad for a pair of jeans & a light ski jacket.

Other places besides TJ Maxx to stay clear of if you’ve been drinking:

  • Casinos – Nothing ever good comes out of getting wasted at the poker tables or slots – that’s why they give you free beer/drinks all night long! They want you there nice and chipper so you can keep on dumping your cash all over the place. That doesn’t mean it’s not FUN to drink there (I find it fascinating), but better to go w/ a fine amount of cash and no credit or atm cards.
  • Grocery stores. Unless you’re in that small minority of drinkers who don’t get the munchies, these places are huge no nos. Never ever go grocery shopping when you’re hungry! You will come back with way more food than you bargained for (or “not bargained” for, I should say), and usually more junk food that’s necessary.
  • ANY ONLINE SITE. In particularly, eBay, and Overstock. You will want to spend like a crazy person! And lord knows on what.
  • Strip clubs. This one should be obvious, but the more drunk you are the more chances you THINK you have with these ladies!  And big chances = big tips. I beg you, don’t do it ;)  Every little smile or wink can come across totally different when you’re drunk. These women are professionals, they know how to milk you.*
  • Church? I add the question mark there because I’m not sure if it’s really that bad if you drop more cash than you mean at the church offerings? :)  Great for your congregation, but not so great for going over budget.  Then again, this entire situation is probably moot considering you’re already naughty for showing up drunk to begin with.

Did I miss any? There are a ton of places in general not to go when you’re buzzed (job interviews, police stations, the houses of ex’s) but in terms of wasting money I think those are the biggies. We do a fine job of wasting our money sober, we sure don’t need any more help in that department.

*If you can believe it, I’m actually one of the few breeds of males left who can’t stand strip clubs.  The idea of paying to be tempted makes no sense to me whatsoever.  Plus, those places make me want to take like 5 showers afterward.

(Classic Pabst by greenkozi)

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  1. sarah September 20, 2010 at 7:32 AM

    I just had to mention that my husband doesn’t like strip clubs either. In fact, I think I like them more then he does. He just doesn’t see the point, and he’s a softy and feels bad for them and always wants to know their backstory… bleeding heart I tell you. Not to mention he thinks they are super dirty, and hates glitter ;)

  2. MK September 20, 2010 at 7:59 AM

    I don’t need to have any drinks in me to want to spend a lot of money at TJ Maxx. I dont’ allow myself to look at the purses anymore because the ones I like are usually the ones that are $100+. At least I have good taste I guess?

    And as far as not liking strip clubs, you aren’t the only one. My boyfriend feels the exact same way about them. Just thinking about going to one make him want to take a shower!

  3. Bobby September 20, 2010 at 8:02 AM

    I went to a strip club for a birthday one year, dirtiest place I’ve been in and it was one of the better ones in town. Just the thought of old men being regulars and getting lap dances all the time makes me shiver.

  4. Darwin's Money September 20, 2010 at 8:16 AM

    First of all, gotta laugh at the Adsense contextual ads that pop up on this one – give it a few refreshes – quite funny. But anyway, not that I’d know (nor would any of us law abiding readers)…but I understand shopping while high is even an order of magnitude worse! You’ll have to get a guest post from a participant on that.

  5. Kevin @ September 20, 2010 at 8:58 AM

    I think it depends on who your partner in crime is when you are shopping. If I were inebriated and my girlfriend were at the store with me, you can be sure that I’d spend a large sum of money on things for her. Picking the right DD is important.

    I also don’t like strip clubs, but I didn’t know getting milked at a strip club was even an option. It remind of of “Meet the Parents” where Jack says, “I have nipples, Greg, can you milk me?” If strippers have found a way to do that, I’m gonna have to give it another shot.

  6. MoneyMan @ FinancialOdyssey September 20, 2010 at 9:09 AM

    Well $30 isn’t so bad. Same thing kinda happened to me at WalMart and I lost about $80 on useless junk.

    And about the strip clubs…..yeah I don’t really care for them either, I just don’t find them very clean or appealing.

  7. Jeff @ Sustainable Life Blog September 20, 2010 at 10:04 AM

    Totally feel you on strip clubs. I dont really care that they are there, but I’d rather just go get housed at some place much cheaper. Nice pbr picture, by the way. Love that stuff.

  8. Karmella September 20, 2010 at 11:00 AM

    You are not joking – I speak from unfortunate experience ;)

    And this Saturday I almost bought a 2009 Volvo C70 after a wine tasting. Almost!

    Too funny this strip club discussion – for the record, I don’t have a problem with them or really care about them, they do seem pricey but to each how own decisions :)

  9. J September 20, 2010 at 11:04 AM

    Definitely want to add restaurants to that list.

    I’ve had many nights where I’ve ordered pizza, or gone to get tacos..and ended up wasting 20 bucks on a bunch of food I didn’t even really want.

  10. Kira September 20, 2010 at 11:23 AM

    My mom and I used to be known for drunk online shopping. Stuff used to show up @ our doorstep, and it was like Christmas, because we didn’t even remember buying it…..

  11. Jenna September 20, 2010 at 12:04 PM

    Too funny that Church is on that list! You might as well add any charity event. Maybe that is why they always have wine tastings a big auctions and gala events?

  12. Mama Geek September 20, 2010 at 12:12 PM

    I’ve done the drunk grocery shopping before. I came home with crap I don’t even like.

  13. Techbud September 20, 2010 at 12:37 PM

    How about the liquor store? :)

  14. Matt September 20, 2010 at 12:47 PM

    Under online sites, you need to add ING/Sharebuilder. Long story, but I had a few drinks with a buddy this past weekend and put in an order for $1,000 worth of his company’s stock. Luckily, Sharebuilder orders post on Tuesdays, so I had time to take corrective action.

  15. Serena September 20, 2010 at 1:33 PM

    This is why so many college students are really in debt, and I know because I was one – being drunk makes it much easier to pick up the phone and order pizza for everyone in your building, and put it on your credit card to boot. And I knew people who practically made drunken 3 a.m. Walmart trips into a sport. “Let’s see who comes back with the craziest stuff?” $50 and 2 containers of sidewalk chalk and some plastic green Army men and enough Doritos to last a year later … yep.

    And along the lines of what TechBud was saying, if you’re already drunk to the point that you’re being kicked out or cut off at one bar, you probably shouldn’t go and pay a cover charge or something just to pay more for drinking at another!

  16. Briana @ GBR September 20, 2010 at 2:20 PM

    Alcohol + online shopping sites = DISASTER! I’ve heard of some terrible impulse purchases. Like Serena was saying, a lot of college students make this mistake. Hopefully people stay away from money in general when intoxicated

  17. Nunzio Bruno September 20, 2010 at 2:35 PM

    That was a great post! I loved the analogy to not grocery shopping while hungry. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been with friends at the casino and they were wasted making terrible decisions. What really intrigues me are the glory stories after about how competitive the tables were and that they couldn’t walk away when it looked like it was a “sure” thing. Thanks over indulging on alcohol to make terrible decisions make you look like a hero, LOL!! Shopping online was def a valid point too…they should make wallets with breathalizers so you can’t do that kind of stuff :)

  18. Yana September 20, 2010 at 3:33 PM

    I don’t need to drink to shop at ;) Although I can understand that someone could sneak an online purchase while drunk. It’s just so easy, even a drunk can do it! LOL

  19. Molly On Money September 20, 2010 at 6:12 PM

    I can’t go near much of anything after a few drinks- including strip clubs!
    Shopping for clothes is very much on the top of my list. Once I’m tipsy I’m convinced I deserve almost anything and everything because it all look FANtasTIC on me!

  20. myfinancialobjectives September 20, 2010 at 7:06 PM

    What an excellent message. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve spent more money, and too much money at that, while either very much intoxicated, or slightly intoxicated. Hmm.. for one, whenever I’m at the bar… “ILL BUY THIS ROUND!!!” lol….

    However, I am greatly looking forward to my cruise in a few months. I’ll be at the casino every night… I won’t spend more than $300… But that will allow me TONS of fun for the entire trip…Ah I can’t wait!!

  21. Ashley Jacobs September 20, 2010 at 7:51 PM

    Articles like this are the reason why your blog is one of my favorites. :)

    I’d like to add bars and liquor stores to the list. No financially savvy decisions ever happen after you follow up drinking with even more drinking.

  22. Matt September 20, 2010 at 9:11 PM

    Also, there’s no reason to go to an ATM after 2 a.m. Chris Rock sums it up nicely: “Drugs are illegal, but ATM machines are open twenty-four hours a day. Twenty-four hours a day. For who? Who the f***is it open for? Have you ever taken out three hundred dollars at four o’clock in the morning for something positive?”

  23. J. Money September 20, 2010 at 9:32 PM

    I forgot to mention, the GOOD thing about buying things drunk is that you can go back when you’re sober and return them ;) But only if you buy items and not gambles or women.


    @sarah – Hah! I actually happen to love glitter on girls, just not paying for it ;)
    @MK – Good point. We always want to spend lots of money at TJ Maxx!
    @Bobby – I know, it’s nasty. I’m sure there are some higher end ones that would be better, just haven’t experienced any myself.
    @Darwin’s Money – Are you volunteering? ;) I mean, your “friend”? haha… and yeah, the adsense is brilliant!
    @Kevin @ – That was very disturbing, sir ;)
    @MoneyMan @ FinancialOdyssey – $80 is much worse. On the other hand, you can always go back and return things when you’re sober!
    @Jeff @ Sustainable Life Blog – Yeah I don’t mind strip clubs being around either – they serve their purpose for both the clients and women working there – but like you I just don’t wanna be in ’em. And I’m a new fan of PBR – so cheap and tasty!
    @Karmella – HAH!!!! At least you would have gotten an awesome car ;) Love those c70s
    @J – Yes, good one. The drunks like to buy their food!
    @Kira – You and your mom?!! haha…. that is awesome. You guys are funny :)
    @Jenna – I bet it is! They know what they’re doing ;)
    @Mama Geek – Wow, now that’s bad.
    @Techbud – That is also a no-no!
    @Matt – Hahahhaa… totally something I would have done too :) Good work on catching it, although you’re going to kick yourself if you log on tomorrow and see the stock way up! Sometimes I think drinking brings out our hunches more.
    @Serena – Sidewalk chalk! Used to love that stuff as a kid. But you’re right, very fun but very stupid when you wake up ;)
    @Briana @ GBR – College students make a lot more mistakes than just this, but luckily they do a lot of smart things too ;)
    @Nunzio Bruno – There was only one time actually that I did REALLY good when drunk at the poker tables. The only problem was, I started giving back all the money I won to the people I just took it from! on purpose! haha… some people didn’t like it cuz they thought i was pushing it in their face and they walked away. I ended up breaking even after winning a good $500 in an hour. The glory story is totally worth it ;)
    @Yana – haha, true.
    @Molly On Money – Yes, and that’s the problem! Although confidence is okay w/ alcohol ;)
    @myfinancialobjectives – That is going to be so much fun!!! The one thing I’ve never tried yet is a cruise, I really really want to one day soon. Enjoy!!!
    @Ashley Jacobs – Thanks Ashley :) This one was really fun putting together – and surprisingly quickly too! I wasn’t even drinking when writing it ;)
    @Matt – HAH! So true! Never thought about that one before, thx.

  24. Mary S. September 22, 2010 at 1:02 AM

    So true about drinking lowering pretty much all inhibitions but neither TJ Maxx or strip clubs lure me like a casino. Give me bright lights and the sounds of slot machines and a buzz in a casino is going to cost me.

  25. MD @ Studenomics September 22, 2010 at 1:19 AM

    I also hate strip clubs! I refuse to go. 20$ lap dances and 10$ drinks just don’t do it for me. You’ll have much more fun going to a regular bar and you’ll save lots of money. Not to mention that the potential to meet someone is MUCH higher at a bar.

    As for the spending money when drunk– avoid 24 hour restaurants at all costs! You will purchase obscene amounts of food at ridiculous prices. Not to mention the fact that you could be feeling generous and offer to pay the bill for everyone.

  26. J. Money September 22, 2010 at 8:22 PM

    All this talk is making me thirsty :) And hungry, come to think of it.