5 For Friday: Random Money Questions

I’m about to catch a flight out from dropping love in Louisiana, so we’re gonna make this short & sweet today :) Last week’s was AWESOME to see how much you guys make, and what you do every day! Did it feel good to get it out? Did it make you wanna work harder to reach what some others were making?  Either way it was a blast to read… I feel like I’m getting to know you more and more each week! *tear*

Okay, back to today’s Five… here we go…

  1. If I gave you $100 in cash, right now, what would you do with it?
  2. What if I then told you it was stolen?
  3. What happens if you go over budget? Do you cry?
  4. Why do we get so excited to talk about money?
  5. Tell me a joke :) If you don’t have one, tell me something awesome instead.

Yessirrrr, you’re the boss! Haha…

  1. $100 Cash: I’d probably go to TJ Maxx and buy something nice for myself. Or actually, a FEW somethings! Whenever I get gifts in the form of money or gift cards, I always make sure to spend it on something I normally wouldn’t. Something that I LOVE, but that I can never justify myself out of my own budget. I basically reward myself with it :)
  2. Stolen $$: I’d be pissed that you gave it to me!! And then curious as to how you ended up with it in the first place? I’d then have to return everything and give the money back cuz I’d think about it every damn time I wore whatever it was I bought! Haha… my conscious could never handle it.
  3. Over budget: No, I don’t cry but I do get upset with myself if we REALLY overshot (like, by $500+). And then I get embarrassed cuz I have to explain it to the wifey who knows I, out of all people, should know better!! Haha… but luckily this doesn’t happen very often ;) Although one of my F ups did help prompt the start of this blog back in the day! So I can’t really be too upset about that. Sometimes you have to mess up so you don’t do it again.
  4. Excited about money: Because it’s awesome, baby!!! And behind a computer we can say and do whatever we please with no judging! haha… well, actually there is a lot of judging that goes on, but not much on this blog. Which I love, cuz I really do consider all y’all my online family :) And here, no money question is a stupid question! We all get to say what’s on our minds and help each other out – much better than the “real” world out there unfortunately…
  5. Joke: A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said “Why did you put up such a fight?” To which the man promptly replied “I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!”

Your turn! Happy Friday, y’all!

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  1. Brandi May 27, 2011 at 7:22 AM

    1.Not to be all sappy, but I’d have to take it straight to the Joplin donation center right now. It’s so awful how bad things are there.
    2. I would be really sad for the person that felt the need to take what wasn’t theirs. And I’d probably offer to *turbo*kick his/her A$$
    3. I freak out. I am such a control freak that I have to analyze and re-evaluate everything. And sometimes…yes I do cry.
    4. Cause money, unfortunately, makes the world go around right now. And it is a way for us to reach our other NON-financial goals too! The more money you have, the more you seem to be able to accomplish in a shorter amount of time. At least, it seems that way in our lives today.
    5. Did you hear about the little boy that they named after his father?
    They called him dad!

    :) Silly humor. Gotta love it!

  2. Sarah May 27, 2011 at 7:30 AM

    1. An extra hundo?! I’d like to say I’d donate it to charity or something equally lovely, but truthfully I’d probably use it to buy a ton of milk. 35 weeks preggo and craving milk like nobody’s business!!

    2. Well if you told me it was stolen BEFORE I spent it, I’d give it back. After? I’d just be super-pissed :)

    3. Over budget — the hub and I are usually “over budget” in 1-2 categories every month, which frustrates me to NO END! I usually just fret about it and vow to do better next month, but we continue to “under-budget” in areas like “eating out” and “retail” (clothes). Thankfully we have a little “cushion” in our bank account, and we rarely spend more than we make in any given month. We NEVER use credit.

    4. I truly don’t know!! I get SUPER excited to talk about money, probably because I have a very curious, nosy, gossipy personality and talking about money seems scandalous! Also, I am very much a people-person, and people’s spending habits tell you a lot about their character. Money is very “telling”!

    5. What’s red and smells like blue paint?

    ….red paint.

  3. Dani @ Ok, Dani May 27, 2011 at 7:31 AM

    1. If I gave you $100 in cash, right now, what would you do with it?

    I would break it into 5s and put it in my top drawer where I’m saving the cash for tips for my honeymoon.

    2. What if I then told you it was stolen?

    I wouldn’t believe you.

    3. What happens if you go over budget? Do you cry?

    I bawl my eyes out then I run to the bathroom in the most emo of fashions and start cutting myself and blame it on my mom n dad.

    4. Why do we get so excited to talk about money?

    Because we’re happy about being on the road to financial freedom.

    5. Tell me a joke :) If you don’t have one, tell me something awesome instead.

    A pirate walks into a bar and he’s got a steering wheel attached to his crotch.
    The bartender goes “hey pirate, you know you’ve got a steering wheel on your crotch!?”
    The pirate goes (in a pirate voice) “Aye, it’s driving me nuts!”

    OR my 2nd fave

    Why’d the monkey fall out of the tree?
    Because it was dead.

    ::scurries away to avoid the groans::

  4. Dani @ Ok, Dani May 27, 2011 at 7:33 AM

    @ Sarah, I loved your joke. hahahahaha

  5. Leslie May 27, 2011 at 8:50 AM

    1. Deposit it to my checking account. I’ve got a check for life insurance that hasn’t cleared yet, and my account is just a little too low to support it right now. With my luck they cash it in between now and the 30th when I get paid.

    2. I’d ask you how, and why, and from whom.

    3. No crying here. Sometimes I get bitchy about it though. And it usually leads to a very long walk and long discussion of how we can avoid it the next month, but how “since we’ve already blown it” we might as well have a “last hurrah” and go out to eat.

    4. It’s kind of like a game. Like real life Monopoly.

    5. Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was assaulted.

  6. Kandace {Making It Bright} May 27, 2011 at 9:09 AM

    1. Drop it into our savings account. We’re trying to get it up to 8 months expenses before the end of this year.
    2. I’d wonder how you got it, then give it to charity.
    3. I get so mad at myself when we go over budget, and resolve to do better next month.
    4. Because when we have “enough” money, feel secure, we focus on the rest of our lives. Money just enables us to do what we want to do. And it was previously more taboo to talk about money. That’s changing with our generation and I’m so happy about it.
    5. No jokes here, I hear plenty but can never remember them. Something awesome? We just paid off our car this morning– 2 years early! That $0 balance looks amazing.

  7. Emily May 27, 2011 at 9:19 AM

    1) I would probably breath a sigh of relief because I’m having a friend of mine who is a professional organizer help me organize my closet this weekend and we estimated a budget of about $100 to get it done… and I don’t get paid until Tuesday and my bank account is getting low.

    2) I would get ridiculously mad, then maybe cry, then get over it and realize that I’ll figure out how to save and stretch until my next paycheck.

    3) I used to cry and get really upset when I went over budget. But then I learned from it and it happens A LOT less often now. Which is awesome! Now I just get frustrated and disappointed in myself and start cutting back on things I don’t need. (I keep trying to make one of those things I cut back on to be Starbucks… but I always fail!)

    4) Honestly, I normally don’t get excited when I talk about money, because I’m terrible with it and don’t have much. But now that I’m learning how to keep track of my finances better, I get somewhat excited because I’m proud of how well I’ve been doing the last few months. :D

    5) I’m terrible at jokes. BUT two of my friends had an amusing conversation over one of my Facebook statuses earlier this week when I posted about the most recent Missouri Tornado.

    Friend 1- Stay low to the ground!
    Friend 2 – I thought she already was low enough to the ground.

    FYI… I’m like ridiculously short, as in, under 5ft… so short jokes run rampant in my circle of friends.

  8. No Debt MBA May 27, 2011 at 9:24 AM

    If I gave you $100 in cash, right now, what would you do with it? Bank it!
    What if I then told you it was stolen? Give it to the police
    What happens if you go over budget? Do you cry? We don’t! :)
    Why do we get so excited to talk about money? It’s interesting and slightly taboo.
    Tell me a joke :) If you don’t have one, tell me something awesome instead.
    Surprise! Three day weekend! YAY!

  9. Crystal May 27, 2011 at 9:25 AM

    1. Put it in my wallet and smile like an idiot because I actually have some cash. :-)
    2. Call you an a$$ and ask who it was stolen from so I can return it. Obviously couldn’t trust the thief to return it…
    3. I get a little crabby when we go over budget because we use our vacation fund to cover overages…less money in the vacation fund means less vacations…
    4. Because most of our lives depend on money in some way. Even if you like a simple life, money determines where you can settle, how big a tent you get, what seeds to buy, and how big your bomb shelter can be, hahaha.

    5. When George found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his ill father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So one evening he went to a singles club where he checked out the most beautiful woman he had ever seen..

    Her natural beauty was so astounding that it took his breath away. “I may look like just an ordinary man,” he said as he walked up to her, “but in just a week or two my father will die, and I’ll inherit 15 million dollars.”

    Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening.

    Three days later, she became his stepmother.


  10. Crystal May 27, 2011 at 9:27 AM

    @Dani, why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead too. Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. :-)

  11. Crystal May 27, 2011 at 9:28 AM

    @Kandace, CONGRATULATIONS on paying off the car!!!

  12. Austin May 27, 2011 at 9:49 AM

    1. Probably go out to eat. I like food.
    2. I would vomit my previous meal on you to “give it back” – just kidding, but I would be disappointed.
    3. We normally don’t think it’s a big deal as long as it’s not a regular occurrence. If we have the cash to make up the difference, we don’t sweat it!
    4. Because the world revolves around money. Personally I like to see people’s approaches toward money how they regard it.
    5. A blonde walks into a bar… you think she would have seen it.

  13. Trinnie May 27, 2011 at 10:26 AM

    If I gave you $100 in cash, right now, what would you do with it? Ugh, as lame and ridiculous as it sounds, I’d prolly blow it on makeup and shoes. But I feel the “right” answer would be to spend it on diapers and formula since Baby Tony will be here sooner than I think.

    What if I then told you it was stolen? I’d be pissed….

    What happens if you go over budget? Do you cry? Fortunately, that hasn’t happened in quite some time. I remember back in the day, though, when it did happen, I cried, then went begging to mom and dad. (I was about 19-20)

    Why do we get so excited to talk about money? Because it’s amazing!!! and it’s cut and dry. you either have it or you dont.

    Tell me a joke :) Here’s the knock-knock joke my 4 yr old told me last night: “knock knock” “who’s there” “Vinny!” “Vinny who?” “me, mommy!” (he’s 4!)

  14. CrystalH May 27, 2011 at 11:18 AM

    Hey J Monye!

    I added your Friday Five to my blog over at http://www.sophisticatedspender.com Have fun with this month’s love drop!

    1. If I got $100 right now, I would have a BBQ and games night for all my DC peeps!

    2. I’d claim the loss on next years tax form. I have waaay too much experience with stuff getting stolen!

    3. I tell myself that I know better. I take a look back at what happened that made me say F-this budget. And do better next month.

    4. I get excited while talking about money because I have learned SO much through the years. I was never taught anything about money while growing up. So I really think I have a wealth of information to share!

    5. I love yo momma jokes! Yo momma so fat, she fell in love and broke it!

  15. BoeshaneHR May 27, 2011 at 11:47 AM

    1. If I gave you $100 in cash, right now, what would you do with it?
    Put it towards paying off my husband’s car – our main financial goal at the moment.

    2. What if I then told you it was stolen?
    Seriously? Crap, and now my finger prints are on it? Jeez, man! You didn’t steal it, did you? *eyes*

    3. What happens if you go over budget? Do you cry?
    Yes, figuratively. I kick myself and then try to find some other line item in the budget to compensate for it. Or hope to make up for it next month.

    4. Why do we get so excited to talk about money?
    Duh, it’s money! It is a) taboo, b) necessary, c) an object of desire (to have more), and d) it’s nice to have when you have it.

    5. Tell me a joke :) If you don’t have one, tell me something awesome instead.
    I recently found out, unofficially, that we’ll be getting our full bonus potential this year. :joy

  16. Jen May 27, 2011 at 12:22 PM

    1.$100 Cash? I would go buy Lego Pirates of the Carribean for XBOX 360 (I really love these Lego games) & save the rest which is about $50 toward paying cash for my dreamy SUV.

    2.Stolen? How sweet, you stold money to give to me ;-) I guess it would matter who/where it was stolen from, or not, I’d probably end up giving it back—that’s how I am.

    3.Go over budget? I don’t actually go over budget anymore, but if I did I would be so totally pissed off at myself I would probably end up saving us 10x what I went over budget of.

    4.Why so excited to talk about money? Everybody get’s turned on by different things, it’s not nice to judge me. ;-) hehe

    5.Joke or something Awesome- Awesome: I’m really an alien :-)

  17. Cassie May 27, 2011 at 12:23 PM

    If I gave you $100 in cash, right now, what would you do with it?
    Pick up some face wash, go for coffee with my former coworkers/references, pick up some top soil for my garden, pick up some yarn for my sister’s baby blanket, have a drink at tonight’s stitch n bitch, and put all of the leftover change into my coin jar to go on my mortgage.

    What if I then told you it was stolen?
    I’d feel like a heel, because I can’t return the Starbucks. I’d keep a closer eye on my wallet around you, but at this exact moment I wouldn’t return it. I’d ask who you stole it from, and then send an anonymous surprise (cherry tomato plant anyone?) to the person you stole it from.

    What happens if you go over budget? Do you cry?
    More like bang my head against the wall.

    Why do we get so excited to talk about money?
    ’cause this sh*t is excitin son! lol.

    Tell me a joke :) If you don’t have one, tell me something awesome instead.
    I went in for a 2nd interview yesterday at a company, and they told me there is a 3rd interview component which I’ll be called back for if they feel I’d be a good candidate. They told me at the end of the interview that they’d let me know by noon today. Well, I wasn’t even out of the building yet and the hiring manager came running down the hall after me to book that third interview. ;)

  18. Alotta Lettuce May 27, 2011 at 12:33 PM

    1. I’d take the hubs out to a really great restaurant tonight. Somewhere with a sweet patio so we could enjoy the sunshine.
    2. Honestly? I wouldn’t care. You stole it, not me.
    3. Depends on how much we went over and for what purpose. If it was because an unforeseen expense popped up? I’d be mildly annoyed, but I wouldn’t sweat it. If it was because my spending was simply out of control, I’d figure out a way to come in way under budget in another category this month, or in the same category next month.
    4. Because it’s endlessly fascinating!
    5. Q: Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? A: Fa Drizzle!

  19. Melissa May 27, 2011 at 12:58 PM

    1. I would take it right to the mall and buy myself a new spring jacket, because every one I own is suddenly just in ridiculous shape and falling apart. The trench coat I have been wearing has a massive hole on the side of it (like, bigger than my HAND) and I have been stubbornly refusing to replace it. Partly because I’m pretty strapped right now, but also partly because I resent the fact that it’s almost June and I’m still wearing a goddamn coat.

    2. I would be super annoyed, because man, I really wanted that coat, and I’d feel really weird about it. Maybe I’d hope that you’d Robin Hooded it and I needed it more than the person you stole it from.

    3. I get really stressed out about it. I try not to think about it too much and just go with it, because sometimes things just come up that are out of your control. But still. It can be hard to swallow, especially at the end of the month when I will often sit at home on a weekend doing NOTHING because I’m trying to not spend. (As I will be doing this weekend!)

    4. I donno, but for me it’s because it feels like an accomplishment! Like, to compare my $200 just-out-of-school net worth from May 2010 to what it is today, on a journalist starter salary is something I’m really proud of! But I don’t really talk about it, because people still don’t really talk about money out in the open.

    5. What’s the compliment of a 43 degree angle? My, you’re looking ACUTE today!

  20. Amy Lou May 27, 2011 at 1:01 PM

    1. If I gave you $100 in cash, right now, what would you do with it? I would keep the eyebrow, facial and hair appointments coming up that I don’t yet have the money for. I’m such a frugal spender that $100 would cover all three.

    2. What if I then told you it was stolen? I wouldn’t take it.

    3. What happens if you go over budget? Do you cry? Depends on whether or not I’m in a hole. That doesn’t really happen anymore, so probably not. I would crunch some numbers, play with the budget, and make a plan to get back on track. I might have to tighten my belt a little and go without some comforts until I’m back on track.

    4. Why do we get so excited to talk about money? Because money is so valuable. It’s universal; you can use it for anything. If you don’t have it, you may go hungry. If you treat it right, it can work for you and increase its own value. We’re excited to talk about it with each other because we’re doing something many people today don’t do; taking control and working to become financially free. We feed off of each other, motivate each other, teach each other.

    5. Tell me a joke :) If you don’t have one, tell me something awesome instead.
    A woman was at her hairdresser’s getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.

    She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: ” Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded and dirty.. You’re crazy to go to Rome . So, how are you getting there?”

    “We’re taking Continental,” was the reply. “We got a great rate!”

    “Continental?” exclaimed the hairdresser. ” That’s a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they’re
    always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?”

    “We’ll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome’s Tiber River called Teste.”

    “Don’t go any further.. I know that place. Everybody thinks it’s gonna be something special and exclusive, but it’s really a dump.”

    “We’re going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope.”

    “That’s rich,” laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He’ll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on
    this lousy trip of yours. You’re going to need it.”

    A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome .

    “It was wonderful,” explained the woman, “not only were we on time in one of Continental’s brand new planes, but it was overbooked,
    and they bumped us up to first class.. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on
    me hand and foot. And the hotel was great! They’d just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it’s a jewel, the finest hotel in the
    city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner’s suite at no extra charge!”

    “Well,” muttered the hairdresser, “that’s all well and good, but I know you didn’t get to see the Pope.”

    “Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the
    Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I’d be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet

    Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.”

    “Oh, really! What’d he say ?”

    He said: “Who the HELL did your hair?”

  21. Ashley @ Money Talks May 27, 2011 at 1:13 PM

    1.If I gave you $100 in cash, right now, what would you do with it?: Put it in the bank. I just got birthday money and I’m struggling! I want to just put it in the bank but I feel like I should buy something with it.
    2.What if I then told you it was stolen? I’d be mad at you. If I could give it back to the person you took it from I would… otherwise I’d try to pay it forward somehow.
    3.What happens if you go over budget? Do you cry? No, but I feel guilty then move on.
    4.Why do we get so excited to talk about money? because we trade our life for it. :)
    5.Tell me a joke :) If you don’t have one, tell me something awesome instead. Why can’t a bicycle stand up?

    Because it’s 2 tired.

  22. Kathy May 27, 2011 at 1:16 PM

    If I gave you $100 in cash, right now, what would you do with it? get my car smogged (I live in So Cal & need a $45 smog!)

    What if I then told you it was stolen? Well, if YOU gave it to me & then it was stolen, then the only logical conclusion is that YOU stole it from me…..because, how wlse would YOU know it was stolen? huh!?! damn…i KNEW you were sneaky!

    What happens if you go over budget? Do you cry? Budget? what budget? kidding..sort of. I don’t have a hard budget….more of a soft one….but, I get that icky feeling in the pit of my stomach when I know I’m spending/spent too much.

    Why do we get so excited to talk about money? For me, it’s because I’ve always been the type to live on the edge & not ‘save for a rainy day’ kinda gal. Now that I’m (ahem) older, I realize what a dumbass I’ve been and love seeing the number grow when I do save.

    Tell me a joke :) If you don’t have one, tell me something awesome instead.
    How do elephants hide in cherry trees? They paint their toenails red.
    How do elephants disguise themselves? They wear sunglasses.
    Have you ever seen an elephant wearing sunglasses? See how well it works?

  23. Kathy May 27, 2011 at 1:31 PM

    Aaaahhhh…question #2 had me stumped until I read your answers….I get it now…the $100 smackeroos you gave me was stolen.

    Got another fave joke for ya; How do you get a one armed polack out of a tree? Wave at him. (I’m Polish…I’m allowed to say these jokes…lol)

  24. Kathy May 27, 2011 at 1:35 PM

    @ Dani @ Ok, Dani

    Why’d the monkey fall out of the tree?
    Because it was dead.

    I LOVE that joke.

    Do you know why the bird died?
    The monkey fell on him.

  25. WR May 27, 2011 at 3:24 PM

    1. If I gave you $100 in cash, right now, what would you do with it? buy new guitar strings and burgers/dogs for the family.
    2. What if I then told you it was stolen? silent campfire and hungry kids
    3. What happens if you go over budget? Do you cry? I (sinner, I know!) don’t have a budget. I have a spending plan and if I stray too far from that I usually just put the brakes on for awhile. I cried when our cat died, I don’t cry over money.
    4. Why do we get so excited to talk about money? Money = possibility. we are only truly excited about ‘future’ money. (and terrified of ‘future’ lack.)
    5. Tell me a joke :) If you don’t have one, tell me something awesome instead.

    The best way to save money is to forget who you borrowed it from.

  26. Sarah May 27, 2011 at 3:40 PM

    1. Extra hundred cash? I’d put some on a Starbucks card to kind of prolong the joy – a few extra cups of coffee, and then I’d probably go buy some books. I’m a dork, I know, but it makes me happy.

    2. If you told me it was stolen? I’d laugh because you’d be lying because you wouldn’t give me stolen money. [IF it did turn out to be true, I’d find a way to get it back to the rightful owners because that’s just bad karma to keep what’s not meant to be yours]

    3. When I go over budget? Well… It’s so so so so rare. I have BIG fears of running out of money (grow up w/o any, and you become a hoarder of sorts) so I have a cushion built in to my savings that allows for little “oopses”. I actually don’t spend a lot of money on big things so when I’m over, it’s by like… twenty bucks.

    4. I get excited because… #3. Goes back to the fear of money and not having any.

    5. I was going to tell you my grandfather’s favorite joke but then figured I wouldn’t tell jokes about hookers on your blog. Instead, you get a joke from someone I knew on Twitter who died a few years ago. She had posted this joke on her blog – a video of her telling it – so when I watch it (and I still do) and she cracks up laughing at the punchline, there’s nothing funnier to me. (So, now that I’ve built it up….) – i miss her.

    What did the zero say to the eight?

    Nice belt.

    Here she is tellingn the joke – I had to watch this because I was thinking of it… So, a joke, and something awesome because it made my heart happy to hear her laugh. http://bit.ly/jYrWnu

  27. South County Girl May 27, 2011 at 5:14 PM


    hmmm, lets see
    1. I’d put the money in my honeymoon jar so I could go para-sailing in Catalina.

    2. Seriously J Money??? U just ruined my honeymoon plans…. :(

    3. If I go over budget i’ll take money from the next month to insure everything will go back to normal… but I don’t cry over it because I keep 2k in my bank accounts as padding for little oopsies so it doesn’t effect my Emergency Fund.

    4. Because having it and having a plan for it sets us free… we don’t have to worry as much as others, we have less stress, and it allows for us to take chances and enjoy the world around us because we don’t have to worry about if we have enough to get us through the month.

    5. A guy walked into a bar with his giraffe. He ordered a drink, and the giraffelay down beside him. The bartender barked angrily, “Excuse me, but you can’tleave that lying there!””Err,” the man said, “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”

  28. Yana May 27, 2011 at 6:22 PM

    1. If I gave you $100 in cash, right now, what would you do with it? – I’d stash it as “mad money”.
    2. What if I then told you it was stolen? – I’d ask you why you steal and from whom, and why you are giving me stolen money.
    3. What happens if you go over budget? Do you cry? – I don’t cry if I spend too much money, but I overcompensate later. I tend toward extremism in correcting myself.
    4. Why do we get so excited to talk about money? – I get excited because there are few people I know that care about money and financial issues, think independently about them, and practice self-mastery.
    5. Tell me a joke :) If you don’t have one, tell me something awesome instead. – Dang it, I had a rare good joke recently, but I forgot it. My husband would say, it must have been a lie ;)

  29. C Ann May 27, 2011 at 9:59 PM

    If I gave you $100 in cash, right now, what would you do with it?
    – Pay my car insurance for a month.
    What if I then told you it was stolen?
    – I’d be pissed, ask you a million questions, and then give it back to you.
    What happens if you go over budget? Do you cry?
    – I wouldn’t cry. I’d probably return some of the ridiculous things I bought that week.
    Why do we get so excited to talk about money?
    – I’m not sure. Maybe because you see all the possibilities once you get your spending in order.
    Tell me a joke :) If you don’t have one, tell me something awesome instead.
    These 3 jokes crack me up everytime (but my friends think they’re corny)
    – What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
    – Why couldn’t trigonometry get an apartment? Because tangent wouldn’t cosine.
    – Whats black and white and read all over? A newspaper.

  30. Crystal May 27, 2011 at 10:00 PM

    @Dani, hahaha! Glad you liked it!

  31. Donna Freedman May 28, 2011 at 2:24 PM

    “If I gave you $100 in cash, right now, what would you do with it?”
    Send it to the Red Cross for the tornado victims. It’s not that I wouldn’t like to get $100. It’s that I sure as heck don’t need it as much as the folks in Joplin do.
    “What if I then told you it was stolen?”
    I’d make you sit in the corner. After I shaved your head.
    “What happens if you go over budget? Do you cry?”
    I never go over budget…but if I did, I would sell photos of your shaven head to make up the difference.
    “Why do we get so excited to talk about money?”
    Because money is like sex: Everybody wants it and few people would admit they get all they need.
    “Tell me a joke :) If you don’t have one, tell me something awesome instead.”
    I’ll share several of my favorite dumb jokes:
    Q. What did the salmon say when he hit his head on the concrete wall?
    A. Dam.
    Q. What’s brown and wrinkled and lies at the bottom of a bell tower?
    A. The Lunchbag of Notre Dame
    Q. How many fashion photographers does it take to change a light bulb?
    A. “Just one more!”
    Knock knock. / Who’s there? / A pileup. / (Finish that one yourself, and it MUST be finished aloud.)

  32. J. Money May 28, 2011 at 6:53 PM

    I’m back! And see you all are in a damn good mood this weekend ;) More fun days to come!

    @Brandi – Haha… had not heard that one before ;)
    @Sarah – Wowww congrats on the wee one! Milk is def. good for the bones :) And my wife loved your joke, haha – good one!
    @Dani @ Ok, Dani – Ahahhahaha… that pirate one is killer!! (so was the 2nd joke! bah dum-ching)
    @Leslie – I go on long walks too, every day. Only cuz it’s refreshing, def. not cuz I’m over-budget every day! haha…
    @Kandace {Making It Bright} – Damn girl, congrats! No car payments is sexy as $hit!
    @Emily – Haha, that is awesome. You’ve got some funny friends ;)
    @No Debt MBA – Yeah, I guess that’s a pro to money still being taboo – it *does* kinda make it more exciting to talk/think about it!
    @Crystal – Hahhahaha… Ziiiiiiing!
    @Austin – Ewww! haha… clever though ;)
    @Trinnie – Awwww, I can’t wait to meet that guy too!
    @CrystalH – Mannnn and I thought I’ve heard ALL the Yo Momma jokes! Will have to add that to my list – thanks ;) And you better invite me to that party of yours one day, I’m in DC area too! Woop!
    @BoeshaneHR – Awesome!!! What are you going to buy me?? :)
    @Jen – Haha, prove it!
    @Cassie – CONGRATS!!! That is wonderful news! And I like how you would do a LOT with that $100 too – you’re a woman who knows what she wants ;)
    @Alotta Lettuce – That’s one of my all-time favorite jokes!
    @Melissa – Ahahahahah good one :)
    @Amy Lou – Hahhahaa I was wondering where you were going with that one :) That is awesome.
    @Ashley @ Money Talks – You are right – we DO trade our life for it! Man that is crazy to think of it like that…
    @Kathy – Haha, never heard that one before (the elephant one) ;) My wife will love it! And also, I thought you firs said you would SNOG your car – as in, kiss it like the British call it ;)
    @WR – Haha, I think you had the best answer for the “stolen” question ;)
    @Sarah – I do that too w/ Starbucks! I add $20 here and there to my VIP card (woop!) and then always get excited when I “don’t have to pay” – haha… I knew I liked you, DB. And I didn’t even get that joke so I had to ask the Mrs! But yes, funny now that I know! Haha… so sorry to hear about your friend :( That is so sad!
    @South County Girl – Smart on that extra $2k! We do that too and LOVE it :) And hilarious joke too! Haha… love it.
    @Yana – Haha, I think I would get along well with your husband ;)
    @C Ann – Ooooh that alligator is a good one! I know the perfect person to tell it too – she loves corny jokes ;)
    @Donna Freedman – Hahahhaa… yes!! “Because money is like sex: Everybody wants it and few people would admit they get all they need.”

  33. Brian May 29, 2011 at 10:37 AM

    Little bit late here, but I’ll give it a go!
    #1 – Just because it came from you, since you are all about the giving, I would pass it on down to one of the tornado victim teams here in Mississippi. The Missouri tornadoes and Mississippi floods have turned attention there (rightly so), but people here still need a bit.
    #2 – After I’ve already given it away? Good thing I didn’t spend it on myself :)
    #3 – No, but P.O.’d at myself I do become (yoda style language)
    #4 – Because it feels like winning when finding ways to save money, keep more money, and giving away money. Some people get a high from shopping (spending money). I think I get that same feeling by making it and saving it.
    #5 – From a friend who always has the corniest jokes – “A blond goes into a bar and orders an appletini. The bartender says, “You wanna open a tab?” The blond looks at him and goes, “Duh. If I’d wanted to do that, I would’ve stayed home. Besides, I prefer Mr. Pibb.”

  34. J. Money May 29, 2011 at 10:53 AM

    Haha, I dig that one. Thanks for stopping by, good sir! Agree on the rush from saving money! :)

  35. CityFlips May 29, 2011 at 1:04 PM

    1. $30 for iPad apps, the rest would go toasted random stuff like a jewelry organizer, coffee, and a haircut

    2. Blast! You jerk!

    3. I don’t cry, but sometimes i get really frustrated and wish injustice had more money.

    4. I ink we talk about money because it’s therapeutic. We all encourage eachbother one-way or another.

    5. So this kid was walking down the street with his dad and saw a telephone booth. “What’s that?!” he asked his dad.
    “Well, son, that’s a telephone booth. You put change on the machine and you can make a phone call.”
    To which the kid replied, “Wow! That’s awesome! If we had those everywhere, we wouldn’t have to carry our phones with us all the time!”

  36. WinrWinrChknDinr May 31, 2011 at 10:39 AM

    1.) I would give the $100 to charity/church.
    2.) I would ask who you took it from, so I could give them the $100 out of my pocket.
    3.) It hasn’t happened yet, but if it did, I wouldn’t worry about it. There is enough “fluff” built into the budget that savings can suffer to pay any real expenses.
    4.) Because, for the first time in I don’t know how long, I finally realize that I have some. Like more than what I really need to survive on. So, it’s nice to give it away or help those that need help.
    5.) Two men were walking in a field, talking as they went. They came across a large hole. They stepped to the edge and peered in. One man looks at the other and asks “How deep do you think the hole is?” The other replied, “I dunno. Let’s throw something in and listen to it hit the bottom.” So, they each find a rock in the field and throw it down the hole and listen. No sound. With a puzzled look on their face, they find a larger rock and throw that down the hold. Nothing. Then one notices a large stack of railroad ties in a pile. Each grabs an end of the tie and they walk over and throw it in the hole. Once again, not a sound was made. Then, all of a sudden, a goat runs and jumps into the large hole. They look at each other with a puzzled look and continue on their way. Later they meet the farmer and he asks, “Have you seen my goat?” The two men reply that a goat ran an jumped into this large hole. The farmer replies, “Oh, thank goodness. That’s not my goat. My goat was tied to a railroad tie.”

  37. engin33r May 31, 2011 at 2:08 PM

    1. Since our budget is in tact and happy I would probably give it to the fiancé to help her buy a plane ticket to her friends bachelorette party.
    2. Give it back
    3. Crying is such a strong word.. I just mope about.
    4. I like the “Richest Man in Babylon” idealogy. Money will grow itself. It’s like planting a tree and watching it get bigger and bigger.
    5. A proctologist walks into a bank to deposit a check. He reaches into his shirt pocket for a pen to sign it, and pulls out a rectal thermometer instead.
    “Oh, great”, he says, “some asshole has my pen.”

  38. J. Money June 1, 2011 at 10:09 PM

    @CityFlips – That’s true – it’s all about keeping each other motivated and encouraged! One of my favorite things about blogging :)
    @WinrWinrChknDinr – Ahahahahaa… damnit, I wanted to find out WHY they never heard anything!!! arghhhh…. but congrats on having enough money now, that’s an amazing feeling :)
    @engin33r – I LOVE IT!!! ahahaah.. I’m totally stealing that joke from you :) That’s bad ass… (get it? get it???)

  39. fifi June 2, 2011 at 5:58 PM

    1. Id put it my pocket and use it for normal every day things, nothing special.
    2. Id be surprised and in disbelief since I didn’t think u were a theif. Id ask the story of it and after listening to it could either give the money back and think less of u or accept we’re both imperfect and keep it.
    3. I don’t cry, I’m disappointed in myself and look forward to crunching the monthly numbers to figure out how that happened.
    4. Cause it brings security and allows me to do stuff I like to do. And u can tell a lot abou people in how they attain and use their money. Plus I’m always interested in ways to get more money for less work.
    5. I like turtles…

  40. J. Money June 3, 2011 at 1:40 PM

    Haha same here! Love trying to find new ways to earn money w/ less effort ;) As long as they’re legal!