She posed the question of whether it was smart, or selfish, to NOT have kids? ;) It was a pretty interesting breakdown of Pros and Cons to say the least, so of course I had to tweet & facebook it around. It’s quite a loaded question.
Then I got this awesome comment in response and knew I had to blog about it (awesome in that it totally made me think differently for a hot second, not that I particularly agree with it or anything):
“back in the day when kids were put to work on the farm, they were assets — in the sense of producers of wealth. Today they are, for the most part, consumers of wealth. Yet a very large number of people still want to have them, and some even pay fantastic sums for fertility treatment to become parents.”
So many ways to look at it!
If you don’t know what “Dinks” are (don’t worry, only the financially nerdy do), it stands for “Dual Income, No Kids.” And while technically the wifey and I fall under that category – as I’m sure many of you do too – it seems to be more about the lifestyle really, than just the fact that two income-producers don’t have kids. Dinks basically CHOOSE this lifestyle for one reason or another. And let me tell you, these reasons sure stir up some emotions!
Instead of copying Kristina though and listing my own Pros and Cons towards baby making, I figured I’d stay totally positive and share the Pros to both sides only ;) Which I know is kinda the same thing, but then I don’t have to label children a “con.” No me gusta that. But fair warning, the “DIK” side will be more love featured as the Mrs. and I have already started practicing for the big game! Woop woop! (and I totally just made DIKS up btw. At least I think I did)
Okay, here goes….
Pros to Being a DINK (dual income, no kids)
Money, money, money!!!!! And lots of it too…unless you go all buck wild and splurge away for the rest of your lives. But generally speaking you’ll have plenty of money to do whatever you it is the two of you please in life. You don’t have to worry about extra hospital bills, mouths to feed, kids to clothe, college costs, toys, allowances, etc etc. It’s just you and your lover, lover! Oh, and you also get unlimited “me” time. Which unfortunately we can’t buy any extra of. (Believe me, I’d do it if I could)
Pros to Being a DIK (dual income, kids!)
Umm, can we say Everything?! Unconditional love, respect (except for their teenage years, hah!), company, passing on values, passing on your name, and mainly just being a part of something BIGGER than yourself. Something that will change your lives forever :) It’s what makes a family a “family,” right? (Or do you hate me right now?)
And not to get all religious up in here, but doesn’t it also seem like there’s a huge reason us humans are blessed with such a wonderful ability? We obviously need it for our race to survive, but it kinda feels like it’s also our duty too. At least to me. I mean our parents did it for us, right?
I have also yet to hear that these little rugrats AREN’T the most important part of parents’ lives, despite the responsibility. Maybe I hang out with only happy and financially-stable parents, but that’s really saying something. To willingly let go of EVERYTHING, including money and all your free time, in order to make sure your kids are safe? That’s crazy. I seriously can’t even fathom it yet. And it kills me too that those who WANT them sometimes are physically unable to create them while abortions are being performed all over the place :( But that’s a totally different subject…
So obviously I’m PRO kids :) But that’s just me! I honestly truly feel that you have to go with what feels right for YOU. Even if that means calling me an asshole and shooting down every last pro I just threw up there. The “right answer” here is the one in your heart – whatever that may be.
So what do you think? Have any other pros or cons to add? Is it selfish to not have kids? Speak your mind, good people!