One of the best things about blogging is starting conversations, and then watching all your smarty pants friends chime in with clever ideas of their own ;)
I’ve been collecting a handful of them over the months, and thought today was as good a day as any to share them around so that you guys can steal them too.
Hope they help!
Idea #1: No more gifts please, 529 only!
I have been searching for a LONG LONG time to come up with a (polite) way to stop getting gifts from family and friends without making it awkward for anyone. Some years are better than others, and it has been getting better over time (for example, now at Christmas we only focus mainly on the *kids*), but I have yet to find that magic bullet that not only pleases the givers (since, after all, they get joy out of it too) but also satisfies my minimalist/essentialist ideals too.
Enter Paul’s idea, which I’m beyond excited to try! (He left this in response to my slacking on our kids’ 529 plans without even realizing I was in desperate need of a better form of gift giving too :))
I have relied a lot on my family to help with 529s. I basically just tell them not to ever get me a present because it will be something that I don’t want and will end up sitting in my basement till I get around to donating it one day. Just tell them to give to your kids 529s instead. Strategy has worked so far. My 9 year old has close to 50K, 7 year old close to 40k, 3 year old has about 10 and my new born has less than 1k…
Some people institute a no gift policy to avoid collecting clutter, I simply took it a step further and asked for a specific gift or nothing… Family tends to be more generous in giving doing this as well.
It’s so brilliant, isn’t it? The givers get to give and know it’s 100% not only what you *want*, but also *need*, and at the same time their grandchildren/nephews/nieces/pals/whatever they are to you get helped too! And you can still buy them toys as well since the gift was for you technically and not for them ;)
Totally trying this with the next holiday – will report back!
Idea #2. Spend something, save something!
This idea comes from Stefanie O’Connell who dropped it on our post the other week about being able to save more if you’re spending everywhere. Here’s her idea:
I’m not totally against lifestyle inflation. I think some sensible improvements are reasonable, but it is SUCH a slippery slope. So I’ve been thinking a lot about how to find the balance. Somewhat similar to this reader, I’ve toyed with a system of matching any new expenses with additional savings before upgrading. For example, if I’m going to start getting a massage once a month. I won’t consider myself able to ‘afford it’ until I can build both the cost of the massage and match that with an additional contribution to my savings, into my budget. TBD on how this method works out.
TBD or not, I think that’s awesome. It gives you full permission to spend and enjoy yourself, while at the same time doing the responsible thing! The more you spend, the more you save, and the less you spend the more you STILL save! (I think I got that right? ;)) I’ll have to go xfer out $2.60 now which I just spent on this delicious Starbucks coffee I’m downing, haha…
Idea #3: “Do I want to clean this thing?”
I loooooove me some self-reflecting questions whenever you’re about to buy something. We’ve covered a lot of them here on the site (I’ll list them below) but here’s a new one that I’ve never heard as yet – by fellow blogger ZJ Thorne:
“I’m a big fan of asking myself if I’d like to clean/maintain the item before purchasing it. So much is not bought this way.”
YES!! And not only with “stuff”, but with pets too. Sooooo many people pick them up on a whim without even thinking or realizing the level of responsibility that comes with it – myself very much included back in the day :( I can’t even imagine how poorly I treated those poor guys looking back, ugh…
But, a great question to ask yourself for sure. Not only to save some money, but to avoid any stress and clutter down the road the item might bring too! Here are similar questions we’ve posed over the years too that might help:
- “Would you go out and buy it again?”
- “Would I wear this out of the dressing room right now?”
- “Would you rather have this, or straight up cash money?”
Idea #4: Separate out your recurring expenses with your variable expenses
Here’s another idea from the same Paul above (how come he doesn’t have a $$$ blog yet??), which he left on our article on how avoiding debt is much more important than your credit score (true fact):
“Instead of going the credit route, I have thought about opening a second checking account specifically for non recurring and variable expenses (i.e. groceries, amazon, walmart, etc…). That way I could make certain I had enough for recurring bills (i.e. mortgage, phone, internet, etc…). Then if my wife or I went to walmart and got declined because we weren’t paying attention, it would have no effect on the mandatory bills we pay. Also, in the event our card number was stolen it wouldn’t mean our mortgage went into default.”
So smart! Most of your necessities would be covered with checking account #1 (recurring) making you feel pretty comfortable, and then whatever’s left over in account #2 you can do with as you please – knowing when it’s gone it’s gone. It also saves you in the event of a hacking too, as mentioned, which at some point *will* occur of course because people are complete a-holes out there…
Hiding money from yourself is one of my favorite tricks, and one of the only reasons we’re at over $600,000 these days. They go right into our retirement accounts which are completely separated out and only checked for net worth reporting once a month! No way I’d be able to look at those #’s in our checking account and not be tempted to spend any of it, haha… I certainly wouldn’t be a personal finance blogger anymore, I can tell you that much ;)
Now hurry up and get your own site up and running, Paul!
Idea #5: Share your failures at the dinner table
Okay, so this one actually comes from Spanx founder, Sara Blakely, and not someone who reads our site (although you never know?), but it was really good and I thought you’d like it.
Business insider ran a story on how her dad taught her a bunch of business lessons growing up, and one of the ones that really stuck with her was around failure.
Here’s a clip from the article:
From a young age, Spanx founder Sara Blakely was encouraged to take risks… Blakely said her dad used to invite her and her brother to share their failures at the dinner table. Instead of being disappointed or upset, he would celebrate their efforts. “What it did was reframe my definition of failure,” Blakely said of the tradition. “Failure for me became not trying, versus the outcome… I’m already having that conversation with my 7-year-old. I talk to him all about, ‘What have you tried to fail at this week?'”
This is so good on so many levels. First, it encourages you to DO STUFF vs thinking about it all the time! Secondly, it helps you get over the fear of failing in itself. And third, it teaches you to take risks and learn before you’ve got gobs of responsibilities and money to worry about messing up ;) I mean, you’re just a kid!! And when better to fail and learn – and then fail all over again – than when you’re so young and nubile? No wonder why she’s so successful these days… She’s failed a ton!
(Reminds me of a quote I recently read from Ray Kroc, founder of McDonald’s – “I was an overnight success alright, but 30 years is a long, long night.”)
Idea #6. “How much would I pay for this?”
Lastly, here’s one more question you can ask yourself when you’re trying to decide whether or not to buy something. This time by Sarah Von Bargen over at Yes And Yes Blog.
“Think about how much you’d be willing to pay for it before you look at the price tag.”
This is great because it places YOUR value on the item before you actually find out the true value! Or, I guess, the price tag, but still – same thing if you’ve agreed to exchange money for it, right?
If you guessed close and it *excites* you, great. At least you know you’re getting what you feel it’s worth. If it’s way out of the ballpark, though, you better stop for a hot second and really be sure it excites you enough. After all, you have to want it MORE than cash money, and that’s one helluva tall order! ;)
So there it is friends! A handful of new ideas for you to run off with and steal too. Please continue to spill all your secrets here, and I’ll do my best to continue making you famous :)
See you smarty pants in the comments…
*******
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- Some Tricks That Help Me Be Better at Life
- More Inductions To The Saving Hacks Hall of Fame!
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I love idea #1 – having three kids, they easily collect more than enough “stuff” from birthdays and Christmas. Ever year on each boys birthday and before Christmas, I set up an online gifting option with my 529 plan. I then e-mail the link out to family and say that if they’re looking for a gift to get the boys, a contribution to college would be very much appreciated. Then when my boys get it as a gift, I talk about what it is and why it’s important. Great idea to have people gift to the 529 in place of a gift to you – I’m going to do that this year!
Double the 529 gifts = faster compounding! :)
I love the idea of #5 sharing your failures. I had one boss that use to tell me that was the first question that she asked during an interview. “Tell me about a time you failed.” She said that if someone never failed, that they never took a big enough chance and she wasn’t interested in people that didn’t dream big enough to fail. I thought that was really interesting.
Or they’re lying :)
J$ – I love idea number 4. That has been the biggest contributor to me knowing whether I’m getting ahead each paycheck or not. Also I like idea number 5! Brilliant! Lately we’ve been playing our own made up version of wheel of fortune, but I think I’ll have to start trying your idea for tonight at the dinner table.
529’s as the only gift is the most amazing thing ever. My wife is getting more into minimalism and I’m the budget nerd. Our 10 month old already has more set aside for college than I ever had! His 1st birthday is coming up, looking forward to it!
#3 hits home, especially considering I published an article today on why I’m tired of being a homeowner! It is easy to underestimate the amount of maintenance work it takes to own things. This has really changed how I think about buying things, if I want them at all. And if I do, is there a low maintenance version that isn’t too costly, etc. I need to take those stressors out of my life and move more toward the minimalism / essentialism!
Yeah, home ownership is no joke. I was just telling someone last night how much I love renting. Especially this week when we’re about to have a massive snow storm hit town :)
“Especially this week when we’re about to have a massive snow storm hit town :)”
Wait… what? *checks the weather* Oh crap!
I’m even getting my weather reports from PF blogs now. This is my life, these are my choices… :P
YES! Home ownership mainly sounds terrible. So much upkeep. I’ll still probably do it,but in a much smaller way. I’m happy with the idea of a condo since I only have to worry in the moment about what is happening in my four walls; we can spread out the cost of the roof repair over many folks.
Not every idea needs to be original to be great. Sometimes using the knowledge and experience of others is a great way to build success.
I really like #5, pushes people off the standard grades-college-job path and into a try new things and don’t be afraid of the unknown. Its never to late to try something new, but it seems way riskier now that I have an established career and am close to having a kid. Needs to be closer to a sure thing than a shot in the dark
I love idea 1 though getting our parents to go for it might be another matter. About half their gifts go in one door and out to Goodwill because the parents essentially buy a semi from toys r us. Perhaps a direct like like chief mom officer indicated might away them.
What if you made the family activity when your parents visit, a trip to goodwill to donate all the excess / out grown toys? ‘Before we go to the park, a quick errand…’. It might open their eyes.
If they don’t want to contribute to the 529, ask them to gift experiences. Take the kids to the movies or amusement park. Gift them a membership at the museum or zoo, etc. That way they can create memories they’ll have with them forever.
Great ideas!!
I love #5. It is so different from how I was brought up and I sometimes find myself afraid to take certain risks because of a fear of failure. Creating an environment where failure is ok as long as you learn something from it is a fantastic idea.
Have been planning to implement #1 this year for our sons. We’re getting buried in toys, and don’t have the space, not to mention not wanting our sons to get spoiled.
It will be hard to get our parents on board, but hopefully persistence will pay off before we’re all buried in a stuffed animal avalanche!
Let’s see if either of us can pull it off! Will be amazing if so!
I love these–especially the one about sharing and celebrating failure! I was so afraid of failure and devastated by it as a kid, and I still fear it sometimes. I think if we could re-frame it and be more realistic about the fact that we all fail, and it’s better than not trying, and the most successful people fail the most, that would go a long way toward empowering people!
My mother and grandmother always contribute toward the kids’ college fund instead of giving toys. I’m not sure how I sold them on it. Maybe it’s just because they read my blog :)
#1 is a great idea. Just think back of how/where the gift money has been spent for your kids over the years? Can’t remember? Exactly. Saving for their future education is a much better idea and I’m sure they won’t even miss it up front, but certainly be thankful for it on the back end!
I’ve been asking the question “do I want to clean this thing.” With a lot of the stuff we already have. Trinkets and items we don’t use end up sitting collecting dust and making it harder to clean. If it doesn’t add value and costs me time, out it goes. Even better to ask yourself that question before you buy these things :)
Yes, better is preferable, haha… But still a great question to ask for decluttering too!
Thanks for all the love!!! this is the 3rd or 4th time I’ve been shared on the site, thinking you’re right I do need to start writing. I started putting thoughts on paper a few years ago, just haven’t prioritized elaborating on them. I love sharing ideas and helping people with finances (it is slowly developing into a passion, taking the place of my old passion, information assurance). Legitimately, its one of the few things I get excited talking about anymore.
I really like the positive spin on failures comment. I think I should try this with my boys. I really want them to grow up thinking that the only true failure is to not try.
Nice to get affirmation from the man himself though!!! Its given me renewed vigor but sadly the foot of snow we are getting tonight will probably steal it back….
Being snowed in is the perfect time to start a blog ;)
I agree, except that I work primarily from home so I don’t really get snow days.
#6 is brilliant for potential impulse purchases. Many times I’m tempted to buy something I hadn’t even thought of before seeing it in a store or online. If I think about how much I’d be willing to pay based on value, that might stop me in my tracks.
The last 2 tips are my favorites, as I’ve come across the other ones in the past. Its great when you can talk finances with anyone and not feel awkward, sharing these tips is great.
We’re all of the same ilk here :)
(ooooh SAT word!)
I love #6! To think you want it more than “cash” is my #1 question at this point in my life. I have raised 2 children who are now 28 & 24 and I am still cleaning out the house from stuff! Wish I would have found financial blogging along time ago that share all these great life experiences.
I would skip all the toy giving and give to a 529 plan for the Grandchildren with a smile on my face :) Education is the best gift you can give a child!
I love question 6- How much would I pay for this? But, it can be a slippery slope. I recently bought a new chef’s knife and when I found the one that I wanted only cost $30 I considered buying 10 because they were so cheap relative to my willingness to pay.
Thankfully, I thought through my storage constraints first (also my willingness to be perceived as nuts)
Hahaha, I like the idea of imagining cleaning an item that you buy! I just dusted our washing machine for the eleventy-billionth time and, while a necessary thing in our home, I do wish I’d considered the time to clean the damn thing.
I also started doing the “How much would I pay for this?” exercise. Luckily I shop almost exclusively at a thrift store, so I’m always shocked by how cheap everything is to begin with. And that means I’m much less likely to spend $23 on a porcelain egg ring dish at Target. ;)
Oh yeah – hard to go broke at thrift stores!
I love #1. We just had a birthday party for the kid and I told people not to bring gifts. That’s good, but 529 is a really great idea. I will try it out next year.
The vast majority of the stuff we buy will eventually become garbage. Ever cleaned out the home of a loved one that has passed away? Then you know what I mean.
Thinking of stuff as future garbage helps take the shine off of those impulse purchases for me.
Oh man, never thought about it that way… so true through! Also in that same light makes you realize that you never really own *anything* forever. It either breaks, gets given away, traded, sold, etc… We don’t even own our own bodies forever! *tear*
“I basically just tell them not to ever get me a present because it will be something that I don’t want and will end up sitting in my basement till I get around to donating it one day.”
I told my family something similar, that I didn’t want any physical gifts, however, I didn’t quite say it like this…. haha…
My parents now will give me some money on my birthday and Christmas that just goes into saving/investing and my husband will do things like pay for a massage or take me out of town. No cleaning or maintaining required for our memories. :)
I’ve thus far failed at bringing the grandparents around to #1, or at least some variation of it.
Them: “We’re thinking of getting Toddler BITA *insert random toy* for her birthday”
Me: “Instead of that, would you consider getting her a membership to our local zoo? We could use that all year.”
Them: “What a great idea! We’ll get her both”.
#fail
Great idea on the zoo though! :)
#1 is a great idea! We weren’t going to open a 529 (we’re prioritizing our savings elsewhere for now), but at our baby shower a friend suggested opening one just to give grandparents etc. someplace to give money to for gifts. So we opened one up! No gifts into it yet – I think right now the grandparents et al are still too excited about adorable little baby clothes.
I used to “give up” my birthday for charity every year, along the same lines – setting up a campaign and, the last few years, doing a long livestream fundraiser for one of my favorite charities. I don’t think I’ve received a birthday present my entire adult life! Other than the gift of having friends and family come together to support a great cause, of course :D Not sure what I’ll do this year with my hands too full of baby to do a livestream, but I’ve got six months yet to figure that out. ;)
Even if you don’t plan on contributing beyond the initial amount you need to open the account, I would definitely suggest starting as soon as possible so you can get maximum compounding. Plus if you do it right the 529 is a state tax deduction. I would suggest to have any checks written out in your name. Then deposit them and create a transfer from your bank account then you get to claim it on your state form. You can deduct up to $2500 annually per child at least in Maryland, not sure about other states. Really it could be a money maker for you if you look at it this way.
Haha love it!
Thanks for including my tip!
I use #3 all the time too. I hate cleaning just about everything, which is why I probably spend all my $ on food, drinks, working out and travel, hah.
For #2, you really need to save MORE* than the additional money you want to spend. Saving $50 more and spending $50 a month cancel out from a raw value perspective, but percentage-wise they don’t. For instance…
Let’s assume you make $80,000/year and spend $40,000 (therefore saving $40,000/year). That means you’re saving 50% of your income.
Let’s now say you decide to add that $50/month income and expense I mentioned earlier. Now you’re making $80,600/year and spending $40,600/year (still saving $40,000/year).
Now you’re only saving 49.63%. :-(
While that’s not much of a change, you have to remember what the original author said – “it’s SUCH a slippery slope”. In reality, you’ll need to increase your income by $100/month in order to “truly pay” for that $50/month expense.
*I’m writing this comment from the perspective of MMM, where you’re savings rate rules above all else. For someone who only needs/wants a fixed amount of savings per year, this doesn’t necessarily apply.
Yeah, def. a MMM thing :) But totally get your point!
We already do #4 and it works really well for us. We have what we call an Expense Account and a Bill Account. We direct deposit a fixed amount for our variable expenses into the Expense Account. The amount for our reoccurring bills plus any overtime goes into the Bill Account. From there I transfer any overtime into savings. When ever the Expense Account gets low we know we have to be done spending.
Thanks for sharing my comment!
I love demystifying failure. I recently mentioned on Facebook something that I failed at (learning a particular language), and was surprised at how positive the feedback I received was. People told me I was brave to mention not being good at one thing. It blew me away. It is okay to try things and find out that they are not a good fit for you.
YES!!! And especially when you blog about it cuz most people only blog about all their awesome wins and “forget” to share all the stuff they fail out. People love hearing both sides as it’s much more REAL.
#6 is great – although it almost ends with me muttering “What the fnck, who would pay that much” – generally as I’m being approached by a store assistant. Whoops!
Now if I don’t have kids can I tell friends / family to just drop cash in my bank account instead of gifts? :D
I’d much prefer giving people cash for their birthdays but apparently it’s frowned upon? :)
I love ALL of the ideas above! Although, ever since I’ve taken my birthday off of Facebook, no one really remembers when it is.. I should put it back up there as a strategy :D
I use the 3rd idea a bit differently. If I asked myself if I wanted to clean/maintain anything, the answer would always be a big ‘no’!
Usually, when tempted to buy something, I ask myself, “if I lived without this *insert-item-here* up until now, do I really need it?”. It works every single time. And yes, most of the time tuns out I CAN live without it.
that was the only day of the year I ever left Facebook happier than when i got there – my birthday haha…
These are all great ideas! I don’t have kids yet, but I can definitely appreciate the 529 gift idea. I think a lot of people would be happy to contribute to such a great cause for your kids.
I also like the idea of not spending incrementally until you can save a matching amount. I would take this one step further, even, to say that you shouldn’t spending incrementally until you can save the same amount OR cut that amount from somewhere else. I think I may try implementing this one myself.
#6 is pretty easy when you don’t want to pay for anything :)
I really like #3. I shared it with my wife and she liked it. It is true, especially in the the kitchen gadget area. You may need an omelette or quesadilla maker, or even that nifty thing that slices eggs into strips that is made of wires, but trying cleaning it……
All great ideas. As always, thanks J. Money.
Bert
The only item I refuse to give up in the kitchen is our apple slicer thingie with those same wires like you’re talking about with the eggs. Makes the process of chopping up apples sooo easy! :)
Years ago it seemed too many toys were starting to accumulate in the house. I adopted the policy that for every new toy that came in, two old ones had to be given to Goodwill. I think Trump stole my idea with his ‘for every new rule or regulation, 2 have to be revoked’.
For gift giving, I’m a big fan of Silver American Eagle coins.
As a coin collector, I salute your gift giving :)
WOW! #5 is brilliant! Never thought of it like that.
All these ideas are fantastic. I think #4 is great. So many times our variable expenses make our budget all messed up because things come up. I think I might implement this. With free online banking, I can’t see why having multiple chequing accounts is not a good.
For #1, I’ve been searching for a way to politely ask for college contributions, too. Especially, from my in laws. With my own family I can be straight to the point, but have to tread lightly with the other half. So I plan to send a link to giftofcollege.com (there are other college saving sites) in email invitations for birthday parties, baptism, etc. and tell everyone that we prefer contributions to college over toys. For anyone who really wants to give something so they can see our daughter open a gift, we will request something small to open like clothing. After all, girl is going to have to have some shirts and pants to wear!
I like it :)
One game changer for me was the 31 days of financial independence guide of Trent Hamm from TheSimpleDollar.com.
I calculated my true hourly wage (also taking commuting costs/time, training costs/time, etc. into account). After that, I’ve written down and calculated how many hours I need to work for those things in my life that are personally not important to me. This really helped me a lot.
If you want to buy an item that is not totally worth it, but you have to work 20 hours or more to get it; you think about it twice. You also see how much this could help on the big goals of your life; for me, this is early retirement or financial freedom.
Amen to that! I love the challenges and courses other bloggers come out with. We need as much help and motivation as we can get in this country :)
Cracking up over Idea #3 “Do I want to clean this thing?” I feel like this could solve a lot of overspending problems! I almost bought a juicer, convinced that it would be put to good use. Well, there’s no way I have the time to clean that thing. Haha. I’m glad I saved my money on that one!
I especially love the failure tip!
It’s something I still struggle with — I’m terrified of taking risks. It’s partially why I’m so interested in early retirement, as it could enable a lot of big, consequence-free fails. Etsy store not enough to pay for living expenses? Doesn’t matter! Book never sells? You can still eat!
Yup! The same with trying them all out on nights/weekends too while you *are* still working. Doesn’t effect your finances if you fail, but if you win it can supercharge things and/or even give you a fresh new career!
Idea #5 is definitely a good one. My son would be surprised to hear me ask him that question but it would definitely get him to open up more about his day.